A Princess Slowly Moving Toward Friday the 13th
Do you know what it feels like to walk through deep water? It takes a lot of effort and you don’t move very fast. That’s exactly how my body and brain felt when I woke up today – like I was moving in very slow motion. The intentional lack of thyroid hormone in my body as I near this procedure was finally quite evident. I thought about just rolling over and going back to sleep, but my body didn’t really need sleep. Instead it needed calming and reassurance and orderly movement. So I threw on some clothes and moved slowly out the door to my yoga class with Ajit.
I selfishly hoped I would be his only student once again and had already decided to request an hour of restorative poses. But alas, two other students showed up, one of whom was quite advanced. So I just told Ajit I would create my own "program" today with occasional input from him and basically lie around on the floor in different stretching poses.
He suggested that we all do the initial centering together. He asked each of us (all women) to think about being a young princess with a halo of white light on our heads. I carried this image through the entire class, adding a long pink dress to the princess image. I felt my closed eyes fill with big tears of happiness as I smiled at myself as a young innocent illuminated princess.
Creative Ajit managed to run the class like a 3-ring circus, because he had quickly realized that he had three students with very different needs. While one person was doing shoulder stands and the "wheel", another was doing extended down dogs, and I was resting with my legs up the wall and just breathing in and out very slowly. I managed to join the others in the hamstring stretching that has become a part of my daily routine since Ajit’s lesson in walking before we all settled into final relaxation. Ajit closed the class with blessings for body, mind, soul, and spirit and we all said Namaste in unison. As I left, he suggested personal meditation and breathing exercises over the next few days.
My isolation begins on none other than Friday, the 13th of January. Frankly I don’t have the energy to be superstitious. I’m getting close to hitting rock bottom, but I am looking forward to the chance to climb back up once I can take my synthetic hormones again on Saturday. Then I will feel like the end of this ordeal is near. So bring on the big thoughts on Friday for the princess with the halo of light.
I selfishly hoped I would be his only student once again and had already decided to request an hour of restorative poses. But alas, two other students showed up, one of whom was quite advanced. So I just told Ajit I would create my own "program" today with occasional input from him and basically lie around on the floor in different stretching poses.
He suggested that we all do the initial centering together. He asked each of us (all women) to think about being a young princess with a halo of white light on our heads. I carried this image through the entire class, adding a long pink dress to the princess image. I felt my closed eyes fill with big tears of happiness as I smiled at myself as a young innocent illuminated princess.
Creative Ajit managed to run the class like a 3-ring circus, because he had quickly realized that he had three students with very different needs. While one person was doing shoulder stands and the "wheel", another was doing extended down dogs, and I was resting with my legs up the wall and just breathing in and out very slowly. I managed to join the others in the hamstring stretching that has become a part of my daily routine since Ajit’s lesson in walking before we all settled into final relaxation. Ajit closed the class with blessings for body, mind, soul, and spirit and we all said Namaste in unison. As I left, he suggested personal meditation and breathing exercises over the next few days.
My isolation begins on none other than Friday, the 13th of January. Frankly I don’t have the energy to be superstitious. I’m getting close to hitting rock bottom, but I am looking forward to the chance to climb back up once I can take my synthetic hormones again on Saturday. Then I will feel like the end of this ordeal is near. So bring on the big thoughts on Friday for the princess with the halo of light.
posted by Barbara at 10:56 AM
2 Comments:
You know I was born on Friday the 13th. It has always been a very lucky day for me. May it be for you as well.
Reya gave me a task when we met for coffee that day.
It had several specifics that I won't bore you with, but they all pointed to finding my calm in the storm. The point of solace that, when noone was there to comfort me, would keep me centered and sane.
I wish this for you, my new friend. Let it all swirl around you and know that you have the power to hold on.
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