The Real Skinny on the Radiation

At precisely 1:15 this afternoon a woman arrived with a big cart. On top of the cart was a blue box about the size of a car battery. She poured me a cup of water and asked me if I was ready for THE PILL. She announced to the attending doctor, who turned out to be none other than Yuri (who is Italian and not Russian), that my dose was going to be 140.2 millicuries. She opened the blue box and took out a large bottle wich contained just one small white pill. I took it, drank all the water, and then Dave (of Radiation Safety) measured my emissions at 24. I don't know exactly what 24 means, but what I do know is that I have to be down to 14 to go home tomorrow. How do I get there? Drink, pee, shower, suck on lemon candy. I will never ever eat another piece of lemon candy without remembering this experience.