Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Making Space

Who wants to live in a guest room? No one, or not for longer than a guest would stay that is. Today my plan is to thoughtfully make space in a house that is overflowing with “stuff”.

When my children moved out, I took advantage of the extra closet space to move my seasonal clothes just across the hall. I will find another place for them today.

I currently shower in one bathroom and do hair and make-up in another, the one that used to be my son’s bathroom. I can easily consolidate those “products” back into my upstairs bathroom.

It seems like my son will feel more welcome if he has some legitimate space to call his own. His room will undoubtedly take on that lived-in look that it had when he was living here. Jake will luxuriate on his bed, often having a sock in his mouth.

Jake is going to be on cloud 9 when my son walks through the door. His Dylan is gone, but his boy will be home. He knows that day or night my son will throw his Kong. He knows that sleeping hours will have somewhat of a reversal. But that’s OK. His companion is coming home.

My son is the one who searched the Internet to find the OOPS litter into which Jake was born. Jake is the product of two champion retrievers of different breeds that secretly found each other. He has inherited that spirit of adventure.

Yesterday when I brought the rug Dylan had spent his last days on back from the cleaners, Jake spent a long time smelling it and still trying to figure out why Dylan didn’t also come back.

My son will be just the distraction to pull him out of his funk. Maybe he will have a similar effect on my son.

But just now I am going to make some space.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

poignant. it sounds that the space you are making is more than just physical ... but also internal. Mixed emotions. Love. Sacrifice.

A season of healing, perhaps?

And I have all these posts yet to read through - especially the camp ones. I can't wait to read about camp!!

my best,

8:59 AM  
Blogger Barbara said...

Red -- I always love hearing from you. I hope you are well into a season of well-deserved healing also. Yes, I do hope we can talk honestly and openly as the adults we all are and work together to keep life moving in a positive direction for all of us. Sometimes easier said than done...

9:43 AM  
Blogger Barbara said...

I now have a semi-empty closet and a bathroom with a lot of clean shelf and drawer space and a pile of stuff to give/throw away. It was a good excuse to clean out a tiny portion of my house!

Jake is counting down the hours until my son actually arrives.

10:58 AM  
Blogger Kristin said...

I hope you all find peace together. Is it really just a matter of hours until your son is home again?

12:34 PM  
Blogger GEWELS said...

Ditto on the bathroom situation here. I do the same thing and utilize both of them. I gathered all of Ryan's toiletries into a basket that he can keep on the vanity (it's a teeny, tiny bathroom)to try and keep SOME semblance of order.
His clothes are ALL over the place-even taking over my closet (also made out of the spare bedroom).

Lucky dog to have his buddy back!

1:14 PM  
Blogger Richard said...

Space the final frontier ...

I'm sure Jake will like the extra company.

1:19 PM  
Blogger Barbara said...

Kristin -- He is driving through endless wheat fields in Nebraska right now. His plan is to just keep driving, although I urged him to stop for the night, have a decent meal, and then have a good night's sleep. I don't think humans were designed to drive round the clock!

Gewels -- You understand this all too well obviously! My son seemed somewhat surprised when I told him I had emptied out drawers and closets in preparation for his return. I also told him that I am determined not to do those things that make him prefer his room to my company. I really want to make this work!

Richard -- Jake is resting up so he can pull an all-nighter when my son walks through the door!

2:06 PM  
Blogger Kate said...

This is not meant to be mean -- as I thought about it before I decided to write it down, it did "sound" that way. Anyway........ don't make it too comfortable :)

That being written, I would have been delighted if one of our sons had come home for a while before establishing himself. However we had sold the family home while the boys were away at college and sharing an apartment with your parents isn't quite the same. Adam was "back" briefly after a decision not to return to UCSB, but was soon gone again to live with some friends.

Enjoy the time with Dan.

4:07 PM  
Blogger Jamy said...

Giving your son his own space will make everyone happier--especially if you're going to charge him rent. I sure wouldn't want to pay rent to share a closet with my mom!

I hope the homecoming is happy for all of you.

4:07 PM  
Blogger Barbara said...

Kate -- We will enjoy our time together I'm sure. He always gives me so many good book suggestions and inspires me to cook ethnic food.

Jamy -- I'm looking forward to this in many ways and just trying to remind myself of those things I tend to do that push his buttons. I'm not going to be walking on eggshells, but I would like to be mindful of his feelings.

5:05 PM  

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