Breaking an Old Habit

I always thought it was in a mother’s job description to nag her children. My children would report that I have fulfilled my role in this regard quite well. However, I am currently making an effort to change this behavior and I can tell you it’s not easy.

When I look in my son’s room and see wall-to-wall stuff with no floor showing, I want so badly to say “When are you going to clean this mess up?” But I don’t say it.

When at 9:58 a.m. he says he’s meeting a girl in Arlington to play tennis at 10:00, I want to say “You need to call her to tell her you’re going to be late.” But I don’t say it.

When there is still a greasy spot on the washed cookie sheet he used or I find multiple glasses on the sink, I want to lay down the kitchen rules, but I don’t do it.

Instead I notice that he has taken out the kitchen trash every time the can fills up and totally reorganized our recycling efforts, which previously sucked.

I thank him for researching used grand pianos on Craig’s List for me.

Part of recognizing your child’s transition to becoming an adult has to be learning when to stop giving advice about everything. I’m not saying I’ll never again voice my opinion, but I am really trying to pick and choose as I make an effort to shed my tendency to nag. I can see that it makes for a much more comfortable relationship with my adult son, who usually has a plan for everything even though sometimes it differs from my approach.