What Jews Do on Christmas

Jews always have this dilemma of how to spend Christmas day, a holiday which is really not theirs but is part of the American way of life. Here are the options:

– Pretend it is your holiday as well and celebrate it just as your Christian neighbors do. You know the Christmas tree is just a pagan tradition, so why not? And the children will feel left out if they don’t get presents from Santa Claus. How can you possibly tell a child that Santa Claus only comes to Christian children?

– Do nothing and just go on with your normal business. This is a little hard since most businesses are closed and the media will not let you ignore the presence of Christmas.

– Develop your own Christmas day tradition, the anti-celebration in effect. This might include going out for Chinese food and a movie. Chinese restaurants and movie theaters NEVER close! This is our tradition. In fact, one year we made the local evening news by being interviewed at the movie theater as the local oddities. It is the one day when you will never stand in line to get in. And you can be sure that any Caucasian in a Chinese restaurant is Jewish.

As Christmas day fast approaches, I am already starting to imagine the dim sum dumplings and look at the movie listings. We can thank the Christians for a day off!