Monday, June 27, 2005

BLOG Fallout

It is important always to be aware of who is reading your BLOG. I found this out the hard way recently when my husband stormed in when I was happily playing the piano and said, “Do you expect me to find out what is going on in your life by reading your BLOG?” He hadn’t read my BLOG for months, so it never occurred to me that he would read about my new therapist Kathryn prior to my telling him about my return to therapy.

I had purposely not brought up the issue of therapy until after I was sure it was going to work, hoping to avoid the inevitable conversation that we proceeded to have. After my initial apology and explanation, he started with, “I assume that this is something that you think you need to do,” to which I answered, “Yes.” Then the issue of money – how much I was now spending – came up. I knew this would be a problem, and for that reason I had already agreed with Kathryn that I would come every 2 weeks, to at least try to keep the cost down. He suggested that I might need to give something else up. The problem is that I really get so much out of all of the things I am doing on a regular basis that it is hard to give anything up.

For a few minutes, I had this desire to be entirely in charge of myself – to be able to determine if, when, and how I spend my money. But I know in my heart of hearts that I would be oh-so-lonely if I were on my own.

We didn’t really reach any conclusions about my “budget.” I did agree to try not to surprise him in the future, but I also reiterated what I have told everyone to whom I have given my BLOG address, “Read it at your own risk.”

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