Monday, September 05, 2005

Why Do I Organize Things?

I have always been one to organize things. In addition to storing things in labeled boxes in my attic, lately I seem to always be looking to organizing “events” that pull people together. A lot of this has centered around putting together groups of people to play music. Then there are poetry readings – indoors and outdoors. There’s the Wednesday evening meditation group. My latest thing is finding a group of women to visit the mikvah (Jewish ritual bath) prior to the High Holidays and then go out to lunch.

I don’t find myself being invited to all sorts of bizarre activities. So I am wondering what it is that makes me want to do this. I hope it is not motivated by some desire for recognition, something that might have entered my mind growing up, where my mother took great pride in things I did that made me stand out. Yuck! Instead it is perhaps motivated by a desire to create a “family” of people I like since my own family is so small, especially since I am an only child. Or maybe it is simply a desire to establish new friendships. Whatever the motivation, it is somehow all part of this desire of mine to be around people I like. It’s the same sort of thing that drives my desire to communicate with people by e-mail. I am no longer self-sufficient.

Instead of analyzing this to death, I think it is better for me to simply enjoy the fruits of my labors. I truly love a lot of these new people that have entered my life over the past year, in addition to recognizing how much I love family and friends who have been in my life for a long time. I find myself drawn back to that poem “For Whom the Bell Tolls” by John Dunne (which Freddie Lee first introduced me to) which says: “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a part of the main.”

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