Sunday, September 03, 2006

Worries du Jour

I can imagine that I will be worry-free only when I die. I always have something to chew on, to go off like an alarm clock at random times during the day and night. So what does my current crop of worries look like?

I worry that my best friend is going to go away for ever. I am trying to make this worry about her happiness and not about my already missing her. I worry that if she leaves the financial security she gains will not offset the loss of emotional freedom and independence she has here. I worry that if she stays she will always wonder what it would have been like to leave. I worry that the process of figuring out whether to go or stay will be prolonged and difficult.

I worry about my older dog Dylan, who is losing weight. Dylan is almost 13, having lead a very healthy life. But all of a sudden he is really slowing down. He looks at me sadly with those big brown eyes and I so wish he could talk. I won’t take extreme measures to extend the life of such an old dog, but I would like to know what is wrong with him, making his back half look wasted. I want a James Herriot to take him to – someone who doesn’t have to do expensive or painful testing to say, “Dylan has _______. It can be treated by _______.” Is that asking too much?

I worry about my son, the unemployed lawyer. He will know soon whether he passed the Arizona bar. I hope someone out there realizes his potential as a lawyer. I hope in the meantime he learns how to support himself in whatever way he needs to so that he can be the totally independent soul he wants to be. As much as I love him, I know it is time for him to cut his dependence on us.

I worry about my huge responsibility for the High Holy Days at Temple Micah. I think everything is under control. But I haven’t done this before. What if I totally overlooked something that must be done to make this a success? What if someone I have entrusted with a job fails to do it?

These are the biggest worries. There’s always a second string of less significant worries, but I won’t bore you with them.

Sometimes I think about worries as the counterbalance to the fun and good times – the weight that keeps us from just flying away in giddy happiness. Life must continue to hold a mix of thoughts and emotions and some of them will always be worries.

What do you worry about?


Blogger Mother of Invention said...

You sound much like me...I worry about everything, even little things. I worry a lot about other people's worries! I am an easily stressed person, which isn't great for a healthy balance.

Of course, I worry about my health and that of my elderly parents,family and friends. My mom is getting easily confused lately and we think it may be alzheimers.

I even worry if dinner will turn out okay if I have people over!

At least I won't have school to worry about this year. That was a big one!

Hope your son finds a position with a good firm soon. Hope your dog is okay. And hope your friend reaches the best decision possible.

(Now I have your worries to add to mine! Ha!)

11:13 AM  
Blogger Barbara said...

MOI -- From the first time I read your Blog, I knew we had a lot in common. We both have to learn how to take a break from worrying. It really doesn't fix any of the problems!

12:11 PM  
Anonymous Media Concepts said...

When your son takes a legal job, he may find himself becoming a professional worrier. Lawyers often deal in other people's worries. For example, a contract is largely a set of worries from each side. Fortunately, the bad things people worry about in contracts and in life usually do not occur.

12:19 PM  
Blogger Old Lady said...

I came from a family of worryers(?)
I followed along and worried alot as well. One Sunday in church a few years ago, pastor gave a sermon about worrying. It was not what I expected. He told us that worrying is just a form of selfishness and then he broke it down for us in the rest of his sermon. He explalined that it consumed valuable time that could be spent taking care of the things we worried about. That most things we worried about were things that would affect our happiness and well being. The important thing I carried away with me after that sermon was what I did not carry away. My worries. An interesting angle I thought,

4:47 PM  
Blogger Cee said...

You sound a lot like me - I'm always worrying over a list of little things in my head. At the moment, worries are: getting cheap flights to my cousin's wedding, starting the new job, getting through these last two weeks at the old job without anything disastrous happening. Yesterday I was worrying over the type of potato salad I was taking to the Prince's grandparents for lunch. Ridiculous :-)

I know I should learn to relax more, because worrying about something has never made it go any better, or changed anything - but I do it anyway. Perhaps I shall learn to be serene in my old age.

6:39 PM  
Blogger Barbara said...

Media Concepts -- Professional worrier sounds like something akin to professional mourner. What an interesting way to look at a legal job. I just hope these are worries that he doesn't mind bearing. But first he must get such a job...

OL -- You make it sound so easy to just leave one's worries behind. Are you telling me you're worry free? If so, congratulations!

Cee -- I'll bet the potato salad was wonderful and the grandparents loved it. I'll also bet you've replaced that worry with another. That's how it works unfortunately...

11:11 PM  
Blogger Mother of Invention said...

You are right, we need to break from them but somehow the worries just get replenished with new ones! I read this book, "Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway", and it said to write and rehearse things like, "It doesn't matter", "I'm handling things", "I have unconditional acceptance by others", "I'm saying yes to my universe and am fine with it" etc. If you do this enough, it's supposed to become entrenched so well in your subconscious, that it REALLY does become the way you think, thus helping you let things go a lot more and enable you to handle stress and worry better. It is a good exercise and helps you talk yourself through things with a bit more perspective. "Is the world going to fall apart if..." is a good one too.

12:06 AM  
Blogger Richard said...

My prayers for you.

What do I worry about?

(1) getting Jason into school (in Quebec, the he must be 5 by 30 September to go to school. He turns 5 on 02 October. Most other provinces have 31 December as the cutoff date). If I can't get him into school here, then I will take him with me to Ottawa (province of Ontario) to go to school - further practuring the family; not to mention long days at school and daycare while I work.

(2) I worry about my future. I have a very good job - except it is not fulfilling. If JJ can go to school, then I plan on quitting and trying to strike out on my own. I took a 6 month sabbatical in 2005 and accomplished little in teh way of work (of course, the bonding with my son was priceless) - I can't really do anything if he is around.

(3) I worry about failing if I try to go it on my own. Jobs like the one I have are very, very hard to come by.

(4) I worry how Sofia will manage if she has to work and have both kids in school. Last year was brutal for her.

Those are my pressing worries at the moment.

11:57 AM  

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