Wednesday, October 20, 2010

A New Beginning

A smart person recently told me how important it is that each partner in a couple continue to be an individual as well. Maybe that’s why when I thought this Blog was over, I felt like a piece of me had died, or at least gone blank.

When I started writing almost 6 years ago, I had no idea that I would write over 2,000 posts, putting out something most every day. No one told me that was a requirement; it just felt like the rhythm of brushing my teeth -- a good thing to do each day. But lately I noticed more posts of poems and recipes and less about me, the original object of my Blog. And why was that?

Over the years I had learned from experience things that caused some people I know quite well discomfort. Little by little, I abstained from using names and then relationships or even incidents. But then there was discomfort by association. The fact that friends and relatives were reading my Blog definitely was a factor.

My feeling was that most people reading would rather know I was a real person with definite flaws who experienced the range of emotions, including the more negative ones of sadness, depression, and anger -- probably much as they did. I simply couldn’t masquerade as some sort of Pollyanna whose world was always one of happily ever after.

I felt like I had no choice but to take a break and ponder all of this. It turned out to be a good thing to do. It helped me define a new beginning. It helped others see how important this part of my life is.

One thing I discovered is that my readers collectively provide an important form of companionship. Those who dare to comment are a vocal group with lots of opinions and experience. Those who don’t are supportive because they stop by regularly to read, showing their ongoing interest. Even though I could easily go read their posts and leave comments, it wasn’t the same.

I discovered the freedom of not viewing the world through Blog-colored glasses. I didn’t have to find a daily nugget to throw out there. I could see a movie or finish a book without reporting on it.

I waited for the suggestion of someone near and dear that I jump back in and share whatever pieces of my life story seemed important to me.

I will undoubtedly write less frequently. My every day rhythms will be reserved for things like teeth-brushing, taking my vitamins, and petting Jake.

Sitting down to write tonight felt like coming back from a trip. You know that excitement you feel as the plane lands and you imagine a warm welcome from someone waiting for you. I can only send you electronic hugs, but they are heart-felt I assure you.

10 Comments:

Blogger Gary said...

Barbara,

I am sending you hugs as well and thank you for sharing yourself through your blog in any way that you feel. It is most certainly for you but it is nice to have others there for the journey. xo

12:00 AM  
Blogger Barbara said...

Gary -- I'm so glad you are still coming around! We've had some wonderful exchanges.

12:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Welcome back...taking a hiatus -- like a retreat or any other significant break in routine -- can offer such useful perspectives. Thanks for all that you share.

F.

12:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

((((big hugs back)))

to blog or not to blog, that is the question...

poems, recipes, personal revelation... everything you post is interesting!!

love you, Kelly

2:13 AM  
Blogger Angela said...

Blogging should remain a voluntary thing, no obligations, and so we can decide if or when we want to share something. But I certainly think you are right - this companionship we develop even with formerly total strangers is amazing and a great gift. So why give it up completely. Just write when you feel the urge, and we`ll all be here to read and comment!

3:08 AM  
Blogger Pauline said...

When we do things to take care of ourselves, to make ourselves happy, that good feeling spreads around us like a wave. No matter what you posted about - travel, observations, feelings, recipes - you were sitting down to share with us a bit of you. That's such an open and welcoming thing to do. I'll be glad to read here again :)

6:06 AM  
Blogger lacochran's evil twin said...

To write or to not write is such a personal decision. I trust you know what's right for you.

7:27 AM  
Blogger Kristin said...

I'm here whenever you want to write and there whenever you don't. On the phone. In person. I'm happy to see you whenever, wherever you want to be.

7:22 PM  
Anonymous lr said...

Ahhh...it's good to have you back however regular you might be. Your blogs are a gift I treasure. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences!

8:36 PM  
Blogger Cyndy said...

Hooray! You're back!

10:31 PM  

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