A New Beginning

A smart person recently told me how important it is that each partner in a couple continue to be an individual as well. Maybe that’s why when I thought this Blog was over, I felt like a piece of me had died, or at least gone blank.

When I started writing almost 6 years ago, I had no idea that I would write over 2,000 posts, putting out something most every day. No one told me that was a requirement; it just felt like the rhythm of brushing my teeth -- a good thing to do each day. But lately I noticed more posts of poems and recipes and less about me, the original object of my Blog. And why was that?

Over the years I had learned from experience things that caused some people I know quite well discomfort. Little by little, I abstained from using names and then relationships or even incidents. But then there was discomfort by association. The fact that friends and relatives were reading my Blog definitely was a factor.

My feeling was that most people reading would rather know I was a real person with definite flaws who experienced the range of emotions, including the more negative ones of sadness, depression, and anger -- probably much as they did. I simply couldn’t masquerade as some sort of Pollyanna whose world was always one of happily ever after.

I felt like I had no choice but to take a break and ponder all of this. It turned out to be a good thing to do. It helped me define a new beginning. It helped others see how important this part of my life is.

One thing I discovered is that my readers collectively provide an important form of companionship. Those who dare to comment are a vocal group with lots of opinions and experience. Those who don’t are supportive because they stop by regularly to read, showing their ongoing interest. Even though I could easily go read their posts and leave comments, it wasn’t the same.

I discovered the freedom of not viewing the world through Blog-colored glasses. I didn’t have to find a daily nugget to throw out there. I could see a movie or finish a book without reporting on it.

I waited for the suggestion of someone near and dear that I jump back in and share whatever pieces of my life story seemed important to me.

I will undoubtedly write less frequently. My every day rhythms will be reserved for things like teeth-brushing, taking my vitamins, and petting Jake.

Sitting down to write tonight felt like coming back from a trip. You know that excitement you feel as the plane lands and you imagine a warm welcome from someone waiting for you. I can only send you electronic hugs, but they are heart-felt I assure you.