Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Styles of Combat

I have a new theory that our fighting styles are just as inherited as our eye color.  Maybe it’s environmental training, but I do think it’s passed down.

I’m not a person to fly off the hook easily.  I don’t yell and scream, but usually to the other person’s frustration I am very measured in my sparse remarks, carefully choosing my words and regretting not much of anything.  If I am the object of someone else’s wrath, I’m likely to just turn off my emotions and my communication, retreating into that dark self cave until I feel it’s safe to come out.  When I re-emerge, I must gradually warm back up to the other person, concentrating hard on the positive things that define our relationship.  I never forget what happened, but I manage to put it in storage.  As I write this, I realize it’s exactly the way my father dealt with anger.  It was maddening to me as a recipient.  And now I behave the same way – not often, but from time to time.

Would it have been better if I had been born to someone who yelled and screamed, but then got it out of his system and went on as if nothing had happened?  I don’t know and I’ll never be able to find out. 

What is your fighting style?  Was it inherited?


Blogger Cyndy said...

When I was growing up I must have seen how my father dealt with my mother because apparently I treated her the same way from an early age. She still says "You are your father's daughter" and it's definitely not a compliment. It's a good thing I have a sense of humor!

11:37 PM  
Blogger Kristin said...

I'm generally quiet because that's how my dad fights, but these days, occasionally, I let things fly, which is so my mom.

8:20 PM  

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