Saturday, October 15, 2011

Mind Games

I have recently been immersed in cancer.  A young woman in our Temple Micah congregation is suffering from a rare form of ovarian cancer.  My childhood friend in Atlanta who has lung cancer has taken a turn for the worse.  And I just finished The Emperor of All Maladies, Siddhartha Mukherjee’s tome on the history of cancer.  I guess it only stands to reason that I might personally be suffering from an overactive imagination right now.
Last night I started worrying about a sensation in my left side which I have been having for over a month when I bend over.  I managed to convince myself it was some sort of tumor with which my ribs were colliding.  I slept fitfully last night, imagining the worst.
Today I’m feeling somewhat more rational.  I reminded myself I recently had a physical and a colonoscopy, which both checked out perfectly well.  I can’t feel any unusual lumps or bumps and I’m not in pain otherwise.
Instead I think poor posture is to blame.  My right glut muscle has never been strong since my hip surgery.  Scoliosis tends to make me slouch toward the left.  And it may be that a weakened ligament or my soaz muscle is to blame for the sensation that started me down this path of worry.
I need to figure out what sort of doctor to see about this.  But I think that can safely wait until Monday.  You might be thinking what I really need is some “talk therapy.”  That probably couldn’t hurt anything...


Blogger Pauline said...

Oh the awful things we imagine when we can't sleep! Hope it all turns out to be harmless...

8:25 AM  
Blogger Steve Reed said...

I occasionally have moments like that, when I get freaked out about some little health matter that later proves to be nothing. But on the other hand, there's nothing wrong with being vigilant, so if it continues, why not get it checked out?

8:41 AM  
Blogger Cyndy said...

It's understandable with all of the empathy that you have for your friends that you would be extra concerned and aware right now. If it's causing you stress you should get it checked out. Hopefully it's just some nerve twitching around in there. I still get occasional annoying twinges from time to time around my 10 year old thyroidectomy scar. I've been told that's normal so I don't worry about it.

10:22 AM  
Blogger Merle Sneed said...

Steve says it best.

A wise fellow once told me that 90% of what we fret over never happens and the 10% that does happen is not as bad as we feared. We agonize over the 1%. I know, I am the king of worry.

10:37 AM  

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