Mind Games

I have recently been immersed in cancer.  A young woman in our Temple Micah congregation is suffering from a rare form of ovarian cancer.  My childhood friend in Atlanta who has lung cancer has taken a turn for the worse.  And I just finished The Emperor of All Maladies, Siddhartha Mukherjee’s tome on the history of cancer.  I guess it only stands to reason that I might personally be suffering from an overactive imagination right now.

Last night I started worrying about a sensation in my left side which I have been having for over a month when I bend over.  I managed to convince myself it was some sort of tumor with which my ribs were colliding.  I slept fitfully last night, imagining the worst.

Today I’m feeling somewhat more rational.  I reminded myself I recently had a physical and a colonoscopy, which both checked out perfectly well.  I can’t feel any unusual lumps or bumps and I’m not in pain otherwise.

Instead I think poor posture is to blame.  My right glut muscle has never been strong since my hip surgery.  Scoliosis tends to make me slouch toward the left.  And it may be that a weakened ligament or my soaz muscle is to blame for the sensation that started me down this path of worry.

I need to figure out what sort of doctor to see about this.  But I think that can safely wait until Monday.  You might be thinking what I really need is some “talk therapy.”  That probably couldn’t hurt anything...