Sunday, October 02, 2011


I have recently realized something about myself that I don't like very much.  Instead of taking the initiative to make plans with friends, I tend to wait for them to do the asking.

It's not as though I don't enjoy myself when I'm with the various people I know.  So why is it that I don't take the initiative?  The end result is I seem to be staying home a lot more than I used to.

The same thing is true with email.  I faithfully answer messages sent to me, but I'm usually the respondant, not the original author.

And with Blogging.  Unless I am traveling, I am having a hard time coming up with things to write about.  I haven't been good about responding to comments.  And I seem to be reading other Blogs less and less.  There was a time when I created a post and checked my entire Blogroll every day, actively commenting on much of what I read.

I wonder what's behind my slide into introversion?  I hope it's just a passing phase because I liked being more socially active and more connected with the people in my life.


Blogger Kristin said...

I hope that whatever mix of intro- and extroversion you find makes you happy. It's hard to find balance. I know I struggle with it every day.

8:31 PM  
Blogger e said...

This is a busy time of year. Perhaps you need a break for a bit.

12:23 AM  
Blogger Steve Reed said...

I think all of us go through these phases. I stopped blogging altogether -- both reading and writing -- for about six months or so, remember? Sometimes we all need a break, a pause for rest and reflection. (I am NOT advocating that you stop blogging, though! I found that I missed it a lot.)

And now that you've noticed your tendency not to initiate contact with friends, you can try to do so more often -- if you want. Noticing is the first step toward making a change!

3:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good stuff to think about! Being an "extroverted introvert" myself, I made an intention years ago -- to make contact with at least one friend each day, whether by phone, e-mail, in person, letter, whatever. I found it's like a muscle -- when I use it daily, it feels normal and relatively easy. When I let it slide, it can feel scary or awkward.

Wish we lived closer to each other!


3:14 PM  
Blogger Cyndy said...

It's good to reflect on these types of things now and then, especially if you are feeling a sort of vague disatisfaction, which is what I'm reading into your post.

I don't know about you, but sometimes the prospect of a negative response (or in the case of some of my friends, trying to completely alter or rearrange the proposed activity into something else entirely) is one of the things that will sometimes keep me from extending an invitation, especially if it's something I'd be perfectly happy doing by myself.

I think people go through phases of being mostly the invitor or mostly the invitee. Maybe it's becoming time for your turn to do some inviting for a while.

I feel you on the blogging front, although I've never even been half the blogger you are. I have plenty of stuff I could blog about but I can't figure out when or why I should take the time to do it. I'm sort of back to my pre-blogging normal existence after so many years of exhausting drudgery building my house.

It's very nice to have some time, finally, to hang out with my friends again, and not be too tired or too miserable to enjoy it.

Anyway it sounds like you know what you need to do. I'm sure you have several friends who are just waiting for you to call.

Did I just write a comment that was almost longer than your original post? I guess that's why I'm not doing my own posts - because I'm spending all my time writing long-winded comments!

3:46 PM  
Blogger Barbara said...

Kristin -- You are right about the need for balance!

E -- Unfortunately I have been taking a break. It's really time for the break to be over.

Steve -- I felt pleased to have noticed what was going on. I am going to work on it.

Anon -- You are always so smart! I love the idea of one step every day. I do well with things like that. I too wish we lived closer because our minds naturally gravitate toward the same sort of activities.

Cyndy -- I love it when you write a post in a comment. It means you are really thinking about something I said. You have some very good insights on this. We should find something to do together.

11:17 PM  
Blogger Angela said...

Hi Barbara, I feel much like you! ;y blog posts become lesser and shorter, and my reading and commenting, too. Why? Well, aren`t there times for everything, and sometimes we must share our thoughts and need to be encouraged and want to communicate, and then again we ponder on our own. Just do as you please, but know that the blog friends we have found will be friends forever!

1:34 PM  

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