Eye Check

I go to a very thorough ophthalmologist once a year mainly because I want to be sure I don’t have any melanomas on the back of my eyeballs.  Every year I get a clean bill of health after about a two-hour wait.  Although I have gotten used to the routine, there were several things about today’s visit that annoyed me.

First of all there is Purell everywhere and my doctor uses it liberally in between patients.   Today I asked him if he really believed it was effective and he said he was thoroughly convinced it was because his daughter who is a pediatrician had told him so.  I wanted to ask why he preferred it over soap and water, but he was already squirting drops in the next patient’s eyes.

The second annoying thing is their cell phone policy, which is plastered liberally on the office walls.  It doesn’t just say to silence your phone, but rather it prohibits the use of cell phones.  People all around me were talking to each other, so I decided to test the phone policy, figuring my talking quietly on my phone was far less disruptive than the general dull roar.

Soon thereafter an office worker I dubbed the cell phone police came over and verbally informed me of their policy.  I pointed at what was going on around me and asked why.  She was most afraid that my cell phone might ring.  My assurance that it was on vibrate wouldn’t do.  So I quickly concluded my conversation and sat reading a book on my phone, fully expecting she would return and tell me I couldn’t do that either.

I can never figure out why it inevitably takes 2 hours to get out of that office.  The total time seeing the technician who does the eye check and then the doctor amounts to no more than 15 minutes.  But true to form, my appointment was at 9:45 and I walked out at 11:45 with blurry vision and the good news that my eyes are a year older but just fine.