In Search of My Pajamas

As I prepared for my hasty departure after my treatment with radioactive iodine earlier this year, I left all my contaminated belongings in a pile. My pal Lindsey from the Radiation Safety Department of the Washington Hospital Center assured me that he would bag them and tag them and eventually they would be safe for me to use once again.

I hadn’t given this much thought. But the other day I realized that I did really like those PJs and I had some other things in that pile that I wouldn’t mind having back. So I called the famed Nuclear Medicine Department to inquire about how the decontamination of my things was progressing. I’m not sure they had ever before received such a call about left things. But the woman who answered referred me to the Radiation Safety Department, where the most I was able to do was leave a message the first day on the voice mail of Jarrett Span.

The next day when I called again, none other than Jarrett answered the phone. Here’s the conversation:

BD: I’m calling about my things I left behind when I had radioactive iodine treatment in January.
JS: Exactly what did you leave?
BD: Pajamas and a book and some other things.
JS: What was the title of the book?
BD: A Million Little Pieces.
JS: Was it good?
BD: Yes, but not all that it was advertized to be. I actually bought another copy. Would you like to keep it?
JS: Where did you leave your things?
BD: In my room in a pile. Lindsey (from your department) agreed to keep them for me.
JS: Oh, you know Lindsey?
BD: Sure. Tell him HI for me. (I should have added that Lindsey was the only person who protected my sanity while I was in isolation for 24 hours during a very bizarre medical treatment involving radiation.)
JS: What’s your address?

So I gave him my address. After I hung up, I wondered just what the odds are that my bag of stuff didn’t end up in a dumpster and whether there was a chance in hell that Jarrett Span would actually mail it to me.

What do you think?