Whose Father's Day Is It?

Yesterday I found myself thinking ahead to Father's Day and then I realized I don't have a father any longer. Why do I feel so responsible? Mother's day was a grim reminder that if there is no initiative on the part of the other parent, the most you can expect is a phone call.

Maybe I just didn't drop any hints early enough. On our bike ride the other day, my husband cleverly remarked that if anyone was looking for a Father's Day idea, he could use bike shorts, a rear-view mirror (like Reya's), and a GPS system for his bike. Good God, I hope it doesn't talk, that's all I could think!

So I dutifully passed on these none-too-subtle hints to our children. Our daughter replied that she was getting him baseball tickets. I've yet to hear from our son. So I'm wondering if it's up to me to once again do his wish-list shopping. My plans were more along the line of a romantic candle-lit dinner with a good bottle of wine, not hanging out in some bike store.

The real question I'm trying to answer is at what point do our children suddenly take responsibility for remembering our one day a year? I can't remember when that happened for me, but it was probably early on because my parents would never have suggested spending money. After all, I would like some recognition of the fact that I spent 9 months (twice) looking like a beached whale, changed my career plans to cut out international travel and work part-time for a while, chauffeured them to lessons and practices and birthday parties for years, and then provided a car so they could make me crazy late at night when they didn't come home.

I take great joy in the fact that my children are growing up into responsible, intelligent members of society, who have no addictions or arrest records or personality disorders. Why in the world do I care whether they are obvious about their appreciation for their parents?

By the way, if you have a father, don’t forget that Father’s Day is this Sunday...