Home Alone

It is so quiet in my house.  I am home alone with only Jake to keep me company.  He’s keeping his eye on me as best he can in its cloudy old-dog condition.

My son is across the country now living in SF and looking for a job.  I hope he finds his dream job, but if not any job to pay the rent.  He’s very excited and I am excited too to now have a floor where I can crash if I go for a visit.

My husband got a call earlier in the week that his 95-year-old mother was in the hospital and was probably dying.  He and his siblings wisely decided not to go for any heroic measures to prolong a life that is destined to terminate.

He flew out to Detroit yesterday to say his goodbyes.  He didn’t find someone who was comatose in the hospice unit of the big hospital.  But rather someone who maybe knew who he was and although agitated was not dying just yet.  In fact she keeps saying “I don’t want to die.”  It’s somewhat unclear what her condition really is since their only job now it to keep her comfortable, not to keep prodding and probing.  So now he’s in a quandary as to whether to wait it out or come home and go back when the time comes.

But meanwhile I am really missing him.  I had to remind myself to feed the dog tonight and bring the trash cans back in, jobs that are usually his.  I am embarrassed to say I had to call him up and ask how to listen to messages on our answering system since he always takes care of checking them.  The bed seems so huge without another body in it.  

Cooking for one is somewhat challenging.  I made a big pot of ratatouille since we got most of the ingredients in our CSA share this week.  I had a lot of leftovers.  But I was able to eat pasta without complaints from someone who doesn’t like it.

Jake complains bitterly about being left alone when I go out since one of us is otherwise usually around.

Never, ever having lived alone, this only child is somewhat freaked out by being home alone for days on end.