In search of companions
I feel fairly safe in suggesting that women in general need companionship more than men do. At least that’s true in my family.
My husband is seemingly content with his life. He has a daily routine that keeps him busy and entertained, most often without the need of another person. He even enjoys watching movies by himself. His only source of occasional depression is health-related. We do things from time to time together and with other couples, but we end up with a lot of “alone” time.
I, on the other hand, find myself wishing for company in many of the things I do. Why the difference? I look back at my childhood with no siblings. I did have friends growing up, but sometimes I felt ostracized because I was studious and cared a lot about good grades. No one ever wanted my conservative parents as chaperones for “beach week” so I wasn’t invited. I’m wondering now if I was always so busy so I wouldn’t have time to notice that friends were not always in the picture.
In college I joined a sorority, but my social life was somewhat limited by the fact that I worked part-time during my college years. I had one serious boyfriend, but I ended up with mostly dateless weekends my senior year.
During my adult years, I can count several people who from time to time have been good friends, but I have always felt like somewhat of a loner. Until the last few years, I just stayed busy and didn’t really let it bother me.
So what is it exactly that I want company doing?
Studying something (languages, photography, watercolors, knitting, voice, quilting, etc.)
Playing music (I have several good music buddies)
Volunteering at the homeless shelter (I did recruit Kristin and Jamy, but we read on different nights now)
Taking slow walks
Taking slow bike rides
Eating lunch out
Going to museums
Going to the gym
Talking and talking and talking
No one person will necessarily have the same list as mine. So I guess I’m in search of multiple people who might want to enjoy some of these activities with me. The age and gender of these people is not important in the least.
How does one find such people? Is it by chance? Most people hanging out in bars or other public places are not looking for companionship. Nor are those advertising on Craigslist.
Tomorrow I’m spending the afternoon with someone who is pushing 80. I know we have several common interests. She is intrigued with spontaneity, so it will be interesting to see how the afternoon unfolds.