Sunday, August 07, 2005

Sex at 56

I have always been a little behind when it came to matters of sexuality. When I was in high school and some people were already having sex, I was just learning how to kiss boys. I’m sure I lost my virginity well after most people did even in the late 60s. So it’s little surprise that at 56 I am just starting to get the thrill out of sex that most people get in their 20s.

For most of my life, I didn’t really care one way or the other about sex. I seldom initiated making love, although I must say that seldom a week went by when we didn’t over the last 30 years. It just wasn’t a high priority for me. But all of a sudden, I find that I am the one initiating lovemaking. I’m the one after all these years suggesting that we try some new things. Who could ever have guessed?

We saw “The Kinsey Report” last night – a great movie, well acted with a very interesting story line. Kinsey collected sexual histories from hundreds of thousands of people, both male and female. What he found is that people were a lot more sexually active, a lot more adventurous than had been previously thought. He also rated people’s sexual preference on a scale of 0 to 6, where 0 was completely heterosexual and 6 was completely homosexual. He found that many people were somewhere in between.

I have never had a sexual relationship with a woman. I never much thought about it, although I understand that many people in their adolescence experiment with homosexual relationships. The Kinsey movie made me wonder what my true number really is. I do have really close female friends. Would they ever be more than just friends? I find that thought terrifying, as it would threaten my entire lifestyle. As tolerant as I am of others’ sexual preference, I react with disgust at the thought of being a lesbian. But the truth is that I may die without ever knowing.

Meanwhile I have all this excess sexual energy, probably saved up over all these years. I am throwing it into playing music for lack of a better outlet. I really love my life right now. It’s so much more exciting than it used to be. But this is one aspect of my “awakening” that I was unprepared for.


Anonymous reb said...

8/12 Another reason you look so much more relaxed and happy these days perhaps???

10:19 AM  

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