The Orthodonture of Psychotherapy
During my weekly 7 AM meeting with Kathryn today, I started to see an amazing parallel between straightening your teeth and straightening your head. I have gone through both over the last couple of years, so I have firsthand experience.
When I went in for my first visit to the orthodontist, I looked around the waiting room. Absolutely the only thing I had in common with the other patients was that we all had very crooked teeth and most of them were much further along in the process of getting them straightened than I was. I had braces when I was 12, but failure to wear my retainer and age had combined to produce a pronounced overbite and the beginnings of TMJ. My orthodontist sugar-coated the description of the treatment – one to two years, no pain, a bite plate initially, a lot of money, what more can I say? It really didn’t sound so bad.
You see I missed that "bite plate initially" hidden between the no pain and a lot of money. For the first 10 weeks, I had to wear this contraption on my upper teeth that put constant tension on my mouth and expanded my palate. Since I had to wear it 24x7 and couldn’t really chew anything with it in, I was basically on a diet of blended food and liquids. That was just the beginning.
Then the brackets and wires and eventually rubber bands went on. The inside of my mouth toughened up to the intrusion of brackets and wires. With my daughter’s insistence, I learned how to kiss with braces on. (She said, "Thomas and I didn’t have any problem when I had my braces. I’m sure you and dad can figure it out.") And so we did.
I went in periodically and they would comment that things were coming along. In my typical impatience, I always asked what they might do to speed up the process, professing to dealing well with pain. They take a much more laid back view, wanting to make sure the monthly payments are complete before the treatment is over. To make a long story short, my teeth continued to gradually get in line, some being more compliant than others. After two years of this agony, the braces came off, I had perfectly straight teeth, I signed in blood that I would wear my retainers for life, and it was over.
I talked to Kathryn today and broached the subject of terminating my therapy. I am really feeling pretty good about the shape of my head, preferring to work more on the rest of my being. I had a really terrific acupuncture session this week and am intrigued more and more by this form of eastern medicine. There is a limit to how many forms of therapy I can take on concurrently, how much work I can miss, and how much money I can spend. I really have to be reasonable about this. Kathryn and I did sort of a trip down memory lane of the last year and how far I have come in my willingness to take risks with other people and in my self-confidence. At one point I blurted out (as I often do), "This is really a lot like getting your teeth straightened." And she agreed.
Kathryn and I have a truly wonderful working relationship. It has been a long time in coming. And despite the fact that she never gives physical re-enforcement (the cardinal rule being THOU SHALT NOT HUG THE PATIENT), I now know that Kathryn cares deeply for my well-being. She knows that I hate this rule, but that I simply accept it because that’s the way therapists are. I told her today that it would be a lot easier if she was some gross person that I really didn’t even like, but she is not. She is so much like me and I just know that if I wasn’t her patient, we would be the best of friends. I’m still not sure why I seem to want to be everybody’s friend these days, but Kathryn’s characterization of me as HUG-STARVED is pretty accurate.
To bring an end to this run-on post, I definitely see parallels between teeth-straightening and adding balance and order to your mind. Both processes have a positive effect on your appearance. I am still wondering about the retainers for your mind – what do they look like? Do you wear them 24x7 at first and then just at night ultimately?
When I went in for my first visit to the orthodontist, I looked around the waiting room. Absolutely the only thing I had in common with the other patients was that we all had very crooked teeth and most of them were much further along in the process of getting them straightened than I was. I had braces when I was 12, but failure to wear my retainer and age had combined to produce a pronounced overbite and the beginnings of TMJ. My orthodontist sugar-coated the description of the treatment – one to two years, no pain, a bite plate initially, a lot of money, what more can I say? It really didn’t sound so bad.
You see I missed that "bite plate initially" hidden between the no pain and a lot of money. For the first 10 weeks, I had to wear this contraption on my upper teeth that put constant tension on my mouth and expanded my palate. Since I had to wear it 24x7 and couldn’t really chew anything with it in, I was basically on a diet of blended food and liquids. That was just the beginning.
Then the brackets and wires and eventually rubber bands went on. The inside of my mouth toughened up to the intrusion of brackets and wires. With my daughter’s insistence, I learned how to kiss with braces on. (She said, "Thomas and I didn’t have any problem when I had my braces. I’m sure you and dad can figure it out.") And so we did.
I went in periodically and they would comment that things were coming along. In my typical impatience, I always asked what they might do to speed up the process, professing to dealing well with pain. They take a much more laid back view, wanting to make sure the monthly payments are complete before the treatment is over. To make a long story short, my teeth continued to gradually get in line, some being more compliant than others. After two years of this agony, the braces came off, I had perfectly straight teeth, I signed in blood that I would wear my retainers for life, and it was over.
I talked to Kathryn today and broached the subject of terminating my therapy. I am really feeling pretty good about the shape of my head, preferring to work more on the rest of my being. I had a really terrific acupuncture session this week and am intrigued more and more by this form of eastern medicine. There is a limit to how many forms of therapy I can take on concurrently, how much work I can miss, and how much money I can spend. I really have to be reasonable about this. Kathryn and I did sort of a trip down memory lane of the last year and how far I have come in my willingness to take risks with other people and in my self-confidence. At one point I blurted out (as I often do), "This is really a lot like getting your teeth straightened." And she agreed.
Kathryn and I have a truly wonderful working relationship. It has been a long time in coming. And despite the fact that she never gives physical re-enforcement (the cardinal rule being THOU SHALT NOT HUG THE PATIENT), I now know that Kathryn cares deeply for my well-being. She knows that I hate this rule, but that I simply accept it because that’s the way therapists are. I told her today that it would be a lot easier if she was some gross person that I really didn’t even like, but she is not. She is so much like me and I just know that if I wasn’t her patient, we would be the best of friends. I’m still not sure why I seem to want to be everybody’s friend these days, but Kathryn’s characterization of me as HUG-STARVED is pretty accurate.
To bring an end to this run-on post, I definitely see parallels between teeth-straightening and adding balance and order to your mind. Both processes have a positive effect on your appearance. I am still wondering about the retainers for your mind – what do they look like? Do you wear them 24x7 at first and then just at night ultimately?
posted by Barbara at 12:09 PM
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