A Mother's Guilt
I woke up with a good case of guilt. In my preoccupation with myself, I have done absolutely nothing to celebrate my son Daniel’s 25th birthday today, to make this day different from any other for him. He’s in Tucson, about to graduate from law school, a mere 2500 miles away, so it’s not like I can whip up a birthday cake today and just deliver it.
Dan is a hard one to buy anything for. First of all, he’s not a very materialistic guy. I can imagine that the digital camera we bought him last year is still sitting unopened in its box. He has suddenly taken a liking to clothes, but only to those clothes that he picks out. And in truth, you don’t really need a lot of clothes in Tucson.
So what does he need most? A soul mate. Something I can’t buy and can’t find for him. Dan is a gorgeous guy – tall with light brown (used to be very blond) hair. At one point he had that sinewy body of a swimmer because at 12 he was nationally ranked (or at least very good) in butterfly and long distance freestyle. He is one of those people who is smart without having to try to be. He could write well from the moment he learned to type at 10, handwriting never being a great strength. Sound perfect? Well, he’s so shy that he spends an inordinate amount of time by himself playing chess on the Internet. He’s a well-kept secret just waiting to be discovered.
I half-seriously thought about posting an ad on the Tucson version of Craig’s List: “Handsome young law student (with a good job after graduation already lined up) looking for a woman who is beautiful and smart.” I should add, “If you are not both, don’t bother to reply” because he is picky beyond belief. Maybe that’s a defense mechanism to justify that he meanwhile is asking NO ONE out. I could also add, “If you are the one, believe me, he will be faithful to the end. I have watched how he deals with the current love of his life, his dog Jake.” If ever I wanted to be a matchmaker, it is for Dan. But unfortunately there are some things a mother just can’t do.
So I’m back to the dilemma of what to do today for Dan’s birthday and no closer to a solution. This is a good question for all those Blogger girls that I decided to adopt earlier in the week. Please, give me your ideas!
Dan is a hard one to buy anything for. First of all, he’s not a very materialistic guy. I can imagine that the digital camera we bought him last year is still sitting unopened in its box. He has suddenly taken a liking to clothes, but only to those clothes that he picks out. And in truth, you don’t really need a lot of clothes in Tucson.
So what does he need most? A soul mate. Something I can’t buy and can’t find for him. Dan is a gorgeous guy – tall with light brown (used to be very blond) hair. At one point he had that sinewy body of a swimmer because at 12 he was nationally ranked (or at least very good) in butterfly and long distance freestyle. He is one of those people who is smart without having to try to be. He could write well from the moment he learned to type at 10, handwriting never being a great strength. Sound perfect? Well, he’s so shy that he spends an inordinate amount of time by himself playing chess on the Internet. He’s a well-kept secret just waiting to be discovered.
I half-seriously thought about posting an ad on the Tucson version of Craig’s List: “Handsome young law student (with a good job after graduation already lined up) looking for a woman who is beautiful and smart.” I should add, “If you are not both, don’t bother to reply” because he is picky beyond belief. Maybe that’s a defense mechanism to justify that he meanwhile is asking NO ONE out. I could also add, “If you are the one, believe me, he will be faithful to the end. I have watched how he deals with the current love of his life, his dog Jake.” If ever I wanted to be a matchmaker, it is for Dan. But unfortunately there are some things a mother just can’t do.
So I’m back to the dilemma of what to do today for Dan’s birthday and no closer to a solution. This is a good question for all those Blogger girls that I decided to adopt earlier in the week. Please, give me your ideas!
posted by Barbara at 7:53 AM
5 Comments:
Here's a Postscript to this post: I called Wild Oats (The Whole Foods equivalent in Tucson) and talked a very nice-sounding girl (didn't ask if she was smart and beautiful) into putting together a collection of Dan's favorite snacks, a cake w/ ice cream, and a bottle of wine, adding balloons and ribbons and delivering it to him. I had to be very persuasive to get past the "We don't deliver" mantra, but a little pity for the Mom did the trick.
Lovely solution with WF. If he's not materialistic (which is good in my mind), then an open-ended ticket for travel, maybe. Does he listen to music and have an iPod. Those iTunes cards are always welcomed, and they come in a variety of denominations.
I did offer to date your son before ;)
Haha.
And care packages are always fun!
Cube -- Thanks for the thoughtful suggestions. Graduation from law school is coming soon. I'll file the travel ticket idea away for that occasion. And the iTunes card is always a good idea.
AM -- We may just have to work out an occasion for you to meet Dan when he is next in town. He really needs someone vivacious and outgoing like you.
I'd offer myself up, but it sounds like between the two of us we'd never leave the house ;)
I think the Whole Foods was a fantastic gift idea. Definitely something I would have appreciated, and I think Dan and I may have similar taste in gifts.
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