Coming Out

Last night's Blogger happy hour marked my re-entrance into the land of the living, my re-connection with humanity. I can say with all honesty that I had never appreciated my ability to reach out and touch someone so much until I was forbidden to do so.

It was somewhat of a strange evening, starting with my regular Wednesday night meditation group, where we sit silently for a half hour and then read and discuss something from a Buddhist monk. When I entered Healing Arts last night for meditation, arriving before the others, I chanced to run into Mary, the owner of the practice and a renowned acupuncturist. It turns out that Mary was the first person I was to hug after 6 days of isolation. I must say that I luxuriated in that hug, describing it as hugging someone from the inside out. (This sounds odd coming from a person who was awkward at hugging anyone other than my dog even two years ago.) I felt such a connection to Mary that I suggested that we sit down for a moment and talk about how she might customize two sessions of acupuncture to recognize my emergence from what I could describe to her only as "having passed through the valley of the shadow of death." At this point, the others arrived, we did our usual sit and discussion, and I shooed them out and locked up because I still had plans for the evening.

When I found Mackey's, the Blogger happy hour was still in full tilt and with beer in hand, I was more than ready to hug everyone I encountered. I was sad to learn that John of Prod&Ponder and Susan Banks who writes Dating Rules for Sitcoms had asked about me, but had left before I arrived. I did see AlwaysWrite, Goldpoppy, Pat Thibodeaux, Kathryn, I-66, Martin, and some other familiar faces. I also started to look around and find other must-meet Bloggers, like V of Circle V and Travis, and a whole host of new Bloggers I am dying to read. Jamy and DC Cookie arrived shortly after I did. But where were AUA, AsianMistress, Velvet, and Kristin? And I missed Playfulindc, who is on the road. Of course, Cube was nowhere to be seen. I selfishly wanted them all to be there.

As I finished my second beer, which if you know me, you realize is a lot for me to drink, I started talking to a young guy from NCB.COM, telling him all about my ideas on the ethics of Blogging, about how Blogging had changed my life, about the wonderful post by a group of Blogging artists, and on and on and on. I had a great conversation with V about the details of the elegant dinner with artists in North Carolina that she so beautifully wrote about in a recent post and about her illegal trip to Cuba.

The whole evening was a high for me – the chance to put faces with names, the chance to build up my ego when people told me that they had been reading my Blog and liked it, but most importantly, the chance to meld with humanity in oh-so-many wonderful hugs. It really felt like the release from some awful prison to the ultimate in freedom.

Sadly as I drove home by myself, I realized that my husband and I had negotiated a re-connection date for Thursday morning and this was still Wednesday evening. I was so tempted to just leave my single bed and slip between the sheets in the big bed I share with him, in my state of contentedness. I still sorely needed his hugs.

But instead, I decided to honor his level of comfort and wait one more day. Tonight as you look up at the late night sky, don't be surprised if you see Disney-style fireworks. They will definitely be real and they will commemorate the end of what I hope will be the last time I will ever be forced to stay away from the one I love so much!