Thoughts on Therapy
It was just a few months ago that I was angry at Kathryn, my therapist, because I thought she was more interested in her stupid rules and in her weekly fee than she was in my mental health. I had also recently questioned whether or not I was ready just to quit going to therapy. I mean, we had discussed at length my initial concerns, either resolving them or at least helping me understand them better.
However, over the past 10 days I have come to have a completely new appreciation for what Kathryn brings to my life. In fact, yesterday when I went for my (groan after a late night at the Blogger meetup) 7 AM visit, I said, "Kathryn, aren’t you tempted to just break your rules and give me a hug? We have really been through a lot together in the past week, even though I couldn’t see you." Of course, she gave her pat therapist answer for why we couldn’t embrace each other, but I know that she secretly wanted to give me a hug.
Last week when I was so hypothyroid that I could barely move, I cancelled my Thursday 7 AM appointment with Kathryn, but she suggested that we talk by phone instead at 9 AM that day. She called with some suggestions: (1) a phone call once I was in the isolation room in the hospital, (2) a phone call when I had been released to go home, and (3) taking a copy of the guided meditation CD that I had used during my recent surgery with me to the hospital on my IPOD. I have always been reluctant to call her, thinking that only people who are suicidal should be calling their therapists in between appointments. I would probably never have thought of the surgery CD either without her prompting. We talked for at least a half hour about what I might expect to experience. She left me with the comforting thought that she was available 24x7 if I needed to call.
My first panic attack came when I was all by myself and I was attempting to call Kathryn and the phone wasn’t working. Until I realized that I didn’t need to dial the 202 area code in the District, nothing worked. By the time I reached her, I was really beside myself with anxiety. She talked to me until I calmed down, patiently listening to my description of the weird room and everything that had already happened. She reiterated that she was available any time I needed to call. She offered to call my husband to relay my telephone number, which she did.
We talked several times during the next few days. Each conversation proved her to be a good listener and someone who made thoughtful suggestions that helped me steer around other potential problems.
So when I went to see Kathryn this week, I had an entirely new take on her commitment to my mental health and her contribution to my peace of mind during my recent ordeal. I would still like to think of weaning myself off of therapy by sometime in the early summer, especially if I continue to feel good about life. However, I firmly believe that at any point if I wished to resume therapy, Kathryn would take me back into her practice. That’s a nice feeling to have.
However, over the past 10 days I have come to have a completely new appreciation for what Kathryn brings to my life. In fact, yesterday when I went for my (groan after a late night at the Blogger meetup) 7 AM visit, I said, "Kathryn, aren’t you tempted to just break your rules and give me a hug? We have really been through a lot together in the past week, even though I couldn’t see you." Of course, she gave her pat therapist answer for why we couldn’t embrace each other, but I know that she secretly wanted to give me a hug.
Last week when I was so hypothyroid that I could barely move, I cancelled my Thursday 7 AM appointment with Kathryn, but she suggested that we talk by phone instead at 9 AM that day. She called with some suggestions: (1) a phone call once I was in the isolation room in the hospital, (2) a phone call when I had been released to go home, and (3) taking a copy of the guided meditation CD that I had used during my recent surgery with me to the hospital on my IPOD. I have always been reluctant to call her, thinking that only people who are suicidal should be calling their therapists in between appointments. I would probably never have thought of the surgery CD either without her prompting. We talked for at least a half hour about what I might expect to experience. She left me with the comforting thought that she was available 24x7 if I needed to call.
My first panic attack came when I was all by myself and I was attempting to call Kathryn and the phone wasn’t working. Until I realized that I didn’t need to dial the 202 area code in the District, nothing worked. By the time I reached her, I was really beside myself with anxiety. She talked to me until I calmed down, patiently listening to my description of the weird room and everything that had already happened. She reiterated that she was available any time I needed to call. She offered to call my husband to relay my telephone number, which she did.
We talked several times during the next few days. Each conversation proved her to be a good listener and someone who made thoughtful suggestions that helped me steer around other potential problems.
So when I went to see Kathryn this week, I had an entirely new take on her commitment to my mental health and her contribution to my peace of mind during my recent ordeal. I would still like to think of weaning myself off of therapy by sometime in the early summer, especially if I continue to feel good about life. However, I firmly believe that at any point if I wished to resume therapy, Kathryn would take me back into her practice. That’s a nice feeling to have.
posted by Barbara at 11:43 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home