Size 8 vs. Gorging on Chocolate

Until last year I never thought much about what I ate or what I weighed. I still don’t even own a scale that works. But over the years and with 2 pregnancies, my weight had gradually creeped up and my stomach muscles had stopped working.

When I started doing regular exercise and paying just a little bit of attention to my diet, my body started to change. My stomach muscles really came back to life when I started doing pilates. I could finally go into a store and any size 8 fit perfectly.

But then over this past winter with surgery and radiation treatment and then a major trip abroad, the exercising went down to maybe once a week and I started eating anything I wanted to eat with no thought – bread, chocolate, sugar and more of the same. The pounds began to come back. To the point that when I got to Spring, none of my capris fit. They weren’t just tight. It was more like a 1" gap at the waist.

Just like I like those old pajamas, I like my spring wardrobe from last year and want to wear it again. So I started exercising longer and more often. I started noticing what I ate once again. But those of you who know me know that I am not a patient person. So I am part of the way there towards my clothes fitting again, but it’s a slower process than I would like.

I look ahead to the rest of my life and wonder if I want to always be paying attention to exercise and calories or whether I just want to gorge myself on all the bread and chocolate that my body desires. Or will my body finally give up and just accept being a size 8 and allow me to eat whatever I want? Not likely. It’s a hard choice...