False Modesty

As I was standing buck naked in the exam room before donning my paper gown, my skin doctor of 20 years and his assistant Sue started to come in. “I’m not quite ready,” I blurted out in a panic and they quickly shut the door.

But then I realized that 5 minutes after the doctor came in and asked the perfunctory questions about any changes in my skin, I would be standing up with nothing on so that he could meticulously examine every part of my body, including my scalp, in between my toes, and places where the sun doesn’t even shine.

After a 10-minute delay, in which he probably saw another patient, they were back and I jokingly said, “I guess that really wasn’t necessary.” Even though he is a gun-totin’ conservative Republican, he has a certain ethic which allowed him to respond, “No, there is a proper way to start an exam.”

He did the thing with his little scope that allows him to look deeply into my skin a few times, but finally pronounced me OK for another round of checking. That always gives me a squeaky clean feeling.

Before he left the room at the end of the exam, I asked whether he thought I would always have to be so vigilant about my skin. Unfortunately his response was, “Once you have a melanoma, you are an excellent candidate for another.” Since I have had 4 removed, I would guess there are more to come.

I left my useless paper gown wadded up on the exam table and walked out into the world once again, thanking my doctor for being the eyes and instinct that continue to help me beat the odds!