In the Hands of Mr. Sandman

Yesterday I found myself in the difficult position of choosing between intense pain and intense nausea. What a choice!

My colonoscopy 3 years ago in a doctor’s office was under "twilight" sedation, which most people find masks all sensation during the procedure. In my case, however, I screamed out in pain repeatedly. This time I was in a hospital so I could be knocked out completely.

In my intake interview at Sibley Hospital yesterday, I just happened to casually mention that I didn’t want morphine or any other narcotic during my procedure, remembering all too well the severe nausea I had experienced after my two thyroid surgeries. I never thought these drugs would be necessary for a non-surgical procedure that doesn’t leave you in pain. The nurse raised her eyebrows and said, "You’ll need to discuss this with the anaesthesiologist."

Here’s how my conversation went with the anaesthesiologist, Mr. Sandman we’ll call him, as he did his obligatory pre-op discussion of drugs with me:

Sandman: I see you don’t want any narcotics. That’s what we use to control the pain during the procedure.

Me: I came to this hospital to avoid the pain I experienced the last time, never realizing that you would need to give me narcotics to do this.

Sandman: I could just wait until I see you are obviously in pain before giving the narcotics.

Me: NO, absolutely not. This time I want no memory of pain, so just give me whatever it takes to make that possible and I’ll retch afterwards if necessary.

After I woke up an hour later, I realized that I was much more lucid that with the "twilight" drugs, I had absolutely no memory of the previous hour (good, bad, or otherwise), and I had no sensation of nausea. When Mr. Sandman walked by, I asked him what actually had happened. He said he used NO narcotics, only Propofal and Zofran. I had him write these down for future reference on the page that showed pics of my colon in living color (what a sourvenir).

Thank you, Mr. Sandman! It was a sleep with no nightmares during or afterwards...