Meeting New Challenges
Over the past month, my PT has incrementally created this obstacle course for me. My attitude toward every addition says a lot about how I often approach physical challenges.
She started with a single “step” way back when I was still using a crutch. I had to go up and over with my right leg bearing the weight, over and over and over. Then it got more interesting as I became more mobile and she added steps of different heights and stepping stones and hurdles and a balance board and finally today an incline.
With each addition, my first reaction was “I can’t possibly do that.” She always said, “Let’s work on it together. I’m sure you can.” And I inevitably did. Which makes me question how much my ability to do things is in my head rather than in my body.
I have just one PT session left and I’m already wondering what the last addition to my obstacle course will be. I will probably initially doubt my ability and Christina will help me find a way.
Wouldn’t it be nice if it were that easy in life to be coached through the difficulties, turning “No I can’t’s” into “Yes I can’s”? I am going to try to picture my obstacle course the next time I am faced with a challenge.
How do you handle new things thrown into your life?
posted by Barbara at 7:36 PM
15 Comments:
The "new thing" that is challenging me right now is the economy and I'm not handling it well. I lay awake worrying and know I should try to find a job of some kind that will help us not to deplete our resources while things are so bad. I feel old and unemployable. I feel scared and useless. I need to find some control. I think exercising some control of even a small thing is what gets me back on track in a difficult situation. Your rehabilitation of your hip is such a classic lesson of patience and adding one small thing to another small thing to another. Just writing this helps me know that things will get better, little by little, by little if I am willing to settle for small steps.
That almost looks like fun! I know it must be hard work though.
How do I handle new things thrown into my life? Well if I'm in a good mood I look at it as an opportunity and if I'm in a bad mood I look at it as an inconvenience. I lead a rather inconvenient life so it doesn't bother me that much. And I know that many people have a much more inconvenient life that I do so I appreciate my luck such as it is. In a way the inconveniences of life are what keep things interesting and challenging.
You are doing so well! I'm not sure how I handle new challenges. I just kind of do them. Most of the time, I feel like I'm in over my head but I keep swimming anyway. Eventually, I might just make it to the shallow end or the shore or something. (Wrong post, I know, but that's how I feel.)
Wow!
My new challenge at the moment is altering my distorted thinking patterns !! I'm working through a cognitive behavioral therapy workbook. I get a new 'challenge' every week.
Cognitive behavioral therapy asserts that our thoughts dictate our feelings which dictate our actions / reactions. For instance when my children fight, I blame myself for being a bad mother, bipolar, wanting a divorce ... these thoughts pull me deeper into an abyss of negative thinking and depression. Then I find myself listless, despairing and unwilling to try anymore.
My homework this week is to write down each 'skewed' thought or thoughts such as those above. Walk away. Come back later and re-write the thoughts in a more truthful, positive fashion: yes my children mis-behave. All siblings fight. It does not make me a bad mother. I'm not a perfect mother nor do I need to be. I am good enough. Why don't I brainstorm some alternative reactions to their behavior.
Deja-vu! Another great topic!
xxx
rdm
Terry -- I think most of life is about patiently taking small steps and being content with the results. In your case, you are so unbelievably talented that if push came to shove, you could easily make money with handcrafts or by teaching others. But for now, no amount of worry is going to fix the economy!
Cyndy -- The obstacle course is fun. It's like a reward for doing the boring repetitive stuff. And there is such a sense of satisfaction from negotiating it without knocking anything over, including myself.
Seeing things as an opportunity is such a positive approach. How boring would it be if all roads were flat and there were no hurdles?!
Kristin -- I am confident that you could swim or walk your way out of most anything. I have never met anyone so determined (in a positive sense!)
RDM -- Cognitive behavioral therapy sounds incredibly interesting. The exercise you described makes so much sense. So the idea is that we can impact our success by simply changing the way we view something, is that right?
yes, Barbara. it really is that simple. and my doctor and own research confirm the therapy's success in treating cases of depression and other damaging to us mood states.
i have a chart i am thinking of posting on my blog that lists the mood and the 'thoughts' that lead to it. give me a day or two.
in the meantime - i suppose i am the litmus paper: if my buoyant mood drops off the precipice again, either i'm not doing my homework or it doesn't work as well as we (doctor and I) hope!!
xxx
rdm
I'm trying to clean my apartment. Thats my challenge. i've always been a slob, but the weeks before i got sick I hit a new low.
You obstacle course reminds me of my motheres PT we went to after her stroke. The Therapists were really great...they knew just what to do and what to say, and always managed to make it fun.
There is undoubtedly a huge psychological element to our ideas about what we can & can't do. I used to go walking in Morocco near my village, and I thought I was "hiking." Then a friend came over and we took a real HIKE, for miles and miles, and I found I could do it with no problem and was keeping myself way too close to home. It was a real shift in the way I looked at doing something!
One step at a time!
And asking the question what are the alternatives, as in life/death.
Cause they focus the mind like nothing else I know and then decisions are easy cause they are already made.
Good luck with your last obstacle course.
xx
let me temper my answer now that i've read the second chapter. there IS a loophole (ha - should have known!) the author states that perfect happiness does not exist nor is he suggesting it does. there are times when a 'sad and depressive' mood are normal: i.e. long-term illnesses, death of a loved one etc. his point is that people who tend toward depression and sadness tend toward having negative thoughts and distorted thinking. so there IS a balance. and frustration with your mountain is perfectly okay and expected.
phew. i was afraid i was going to have to look 'positively' at giving myself an injection tomorrow !!
xxx
rdm
You may have to tap dance.
I remember having the option of hiking around a difficult area (straight up thru a narrow crevice on a mountain) -- I could have taken the easier path, and if I felt "off " in any way on that day I would have. But I was properly equipped and was well hydrated, etc... so I climbed up the so called hard way. No big deal, the hard way isn't ever as hard as it looks anyway. but it is also no big deal if I feel "off" to take the easier path.
The important thing is to not slack off when it's definitely time to meet a new challenge. I've never been a worrier, but in my fearless youth, I didn't always stop and think before diving in to new things with gusto. I've learned to stop and think--
Like the scouts say-- be prepared!
Sometimes I think I am much too positive in my ability to tackle something. I'll just jump right in CONVINCED I can succeed. Often I am humbled quite quickly (usually BEFORE I make an ass of myself- thankfully).
My current challenge is the horse I'm riding- Handsome. He is one rascal and scares the hell out of me. My instructor asked me last week if I wanted another horse and I turned her down. I decided that I needed to figure him out and he needed to figure me out.
Wish me luck, I'm heading off to my class now.
Of course, I think I can TOTALLY teach this class. :)
Gewels -- Yes, I can imagine you trying just about anything with confidence. I imagine you and Handsome are quite a couple by now.
I love the look of your obstacle course, and can imagine how satisfying each new addition must have been!
New challenges? Oh, boy; you know I could write a book about that right now. I'm taking it an hour at a time, trying to remind myself that things won't always feel this hard, that I've come through hard things before step by step, and that just because I'm feeling something intensely (fear, anger, anxiety, hurt, etc.) doesn't mean that feeling reflects reality accurately or is helpful to me. If it's a more positive challenge, I try to channel my anxiety into creative, constructive results.
F.
Post a Comment
<< Home