Searching for Zest

Have you ever made a recipe and left out a key ingredient, like lemon zest? The result is acceptable but flat and not nearly as interesting.

I’m feeling a little zestless right now, like I’m missing something in my life that used to be there. I’m trying hard to figure out what it is because I don’t like this feeling.

Even Blogging has suffered. There are days when I don’t really have anything to say. I don’t read Blogs nearly as often as I once did. I read all my comments, but sometimes fail to respond to them. It’s not as though I care any less for my Blogger friends.

If I wake up at night, I find myself hoping it isn’t time to get up yet and I can just drift back to sleep. It used to be the thought of eggs and toast or tea with honey would make me feel excited about getting up.

My days are so predictably filled with the same things. Practicing the piano, exercising, cooking are daily activities. Two sessions of yoga and a piano lesson each week. Wednesday night meditation. Monthly reading at the homeless shelter. Occasionally time to read for myself. It’s not as though I accomplish a whole lot, but I also don’t seem to be sitting around with free time on my hands.

I feel happiest when I am playing music, either by myself or with my friend Deborah.

One of the few things on my horizon to look forward to is the return home of my son from Germany. I’m hoping that will at least temporarily give me a boost.

I don’t feel sad to the point of shedding tears. I simply feel empty. I need to figure out what sort of zest is missing and work to add it back into my life. Maybe it’s the structure of a class. Maybe an art or craft project. Maybe reaching out to people more. Maybe even rediscovering the wonderful qualities of my life partner. Maybe all of these things. I’m on a quest for zest.