Fun, Fun, Fun
The bellwether of depression for me is when I look forward to brushing my teeth and going to bed. The last few days have been like that.
My husband suggested that maybe I should see someone about my lack of excitement for life right now. I replied that all I needed was someone to have some spontaneous fun with and I didn’t need a shrink to tell me that!
Most of my friends are either working or busy with the holidays or family. They are very scheduled people who must haul out their personal scheduler to find an opening. Even my husband who is retired stays quite busy building websites and he has foot problems right how which limit his desire to go walking around.
So it’s no surprise that when I floated the idea of going to the Pompeii exhibit at the National Gallery with multiple friends, the best I could get was “Maybe after the first of the year.”
There was indeed a time when my friend who is no longer would call up on a Monday afternoon and say, “Can I convince you to blow off yoga and go eat dinner with me at ______?” And of course I was only too delighted to trade 90 minutes of down dog for white wine and decadent chocolate desserts. (We never skipped either.) But in truth most of the fun was in talking about the many things we wanted to do, but in fact never did.
I jokingly talked about putting an ad on Craig’s List “Wanted: someone to have spontaneous fun with.” I would need to clarify that this did not mean sex, but the garden variety fun of going to a driving range or a museum or a new play or for a walk in a beautiful place. But I would probably be judged as a first-class nut if I did such a thing.
I’m heading downtown in a little while to get my hair cut. I’ve decided to do the Pompeii exhibit on my own afterwards. Maybe I will just need to make my own fun for a while.
posted by Barbara at 8:50 AM
13 Comments:
Sometimes it's good to find your own fun! You might see things at that exhibit when you view it alone at your own pace that you wouldn't if you had a friend there distracting you. Of course that's my totally anti-social point of view talking there! I find that I experience things very differently and sometimes in a more meaningful way when I am alone. My moments of free time tend to be so sporadic and last minute that if I wanted to do something I have to just go do it. Sometimes I think "I wish I'd called so-and-so" but then I think if I'd done that I might not be here doing whatever it is right now because they might try to talk me into doing something else instead. I tend to be a loner anyway so this suits me just fine.
I hope you have a nice time at the exhibit. I wish I could go and revisit Pompeii, but it's time to hang some drywall now! No fun for me!
i TELL YOU WHAT YOU DO...(oops)
You go over to one of your good friends houses when you know they are asleep, and you pull out their garden hose and you start spraying their bedroom window until they awake up.
Then you go party.
If the first one doesn't want to go, or gets mad at you, you just go to the next ones house till you find someone that thinks what you are doing is fun.
Then you know you have a friend fer the night.
Even if you don't know what to do next, they will!
And if you run out of friends, you just come on down to Texas, hose down my window, and we'll get somethin' happenin'.
It'll be a Wang-Dang-Doodle!
At some point, I started doing the same: Going to stuff on my own. I was tired of all the people who said "no" when I asked. At some point that changed; other people started asking me and I almost always said "yes." You know my schedule...
Though, I am downtown and could take a long lunch to head over to the Pompeii exhibit if you want company...
I should have said that I still go to a lot of things alone. Like Cyndy, I appreciate taking things at my own pace once in a while.
After bowling I would join you but it is at least a 3 1/2 hour plane ride :)
I like the window hosing idea myself! And not only because my windows need washing on the outside. :)
Love,
Kate
I would definitely go with Bulletholes! Now THAT sounds like fun!!
All -- So I needed a pep talk! I did the museum and it was fine, although I missed being able to mouth off to my companion(s) about what I was seeing. I happily responded to one comment made by a stranger, but that was the end of my conversation. Maybe it's those years growing up as an only child, but I do prefer being in the company of others when it's possible.
So, Bulletholes, YOU'RE the one spraying my window at night!!! ::laugh:::
We all go through dry spells with friends... when I moved down to a new city and a new school, I really missed my old friends, I still miss them! But I have a new friend now, and we are going to a FUNGUS fair on Friday?! ::::laugh::: Come to San Francisco for the Holidays... we can have some fun!
Two things that are very prevalent during the holidays: (1) Depression. (2) Being overbooked and thus overstressed. I think that 1 and 2 are related, but usually it's the same person that has both. One thing that would help some of us would be for people not to ghetto-ize all the year's parties into the Halloween to New Year's time frame.
Any reason you can't be your own best friend now and then? I find that if I just go ahead and do the things I want to do, letting myself enjoy them, perhaps writing about them later if I've had no one to share them with, then that mild malaise is kept at bay. A pity you don't live next door - spontaneity is one of my favorite words.
Kellyann -- A Fungus Fair sounds like a lot of fun!
MC -- What I didn't say here is that I am indeed very BUSY. And I do enjoy many of the well-scheduled things I do, but there are others that just take up time. I agree completely about the craziness of the next few weeks.
Pauline -- You and I could have some great FUN together, for sure!
kelly-anne; No it was not me but it well could have been....it was a pretty good Modus Operandi for a long time, back in my day.
It's great to have people to pal around with--many of my friends have small children and suddenly they are swamped with things to do in December -- (so they are less available to go out for a glass of wine or do a museum)
As soon as I'm feeling better I'm going to the NY Botanical Garden in the Bronx. (hopefully this weekend (?) ) I just feel I need to be inside a place where rare tropical plants grow!
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