For the sake of appearance
I just realize I haven’t shaved my legs more than twice in the last 3 months. I haven’t worn mascara in at least 6 months. I haven’t bought an article of clothing of any sort since Christmas. And no one has noticed.
When I retired, my plan was to continue getting up every day, showering, dressing in something reasonably nice, putting on make-up, etc. But this has been reduced to changing my underwear daily and doing the rest only as needed.
If I am going out to a class or have the occasional opportunity to do lunch with someone, I consider my appearance, even throwing on some jewelry. But more often than not, that is not the case.
It’s not as though I live alone. In fact I live with someone who has a very rigid morning routine in which he shaves, showers, exercises, dresses, and eats pretty much the same breakfast day in and day out. But I’m convinced he never observes the state of my hair, the absence of lipstick, the old tee shirt I am inclined to wear.
This dangerously reminds me of my mother about the time I started to think of her as OLD and I’m not quite there yet mentally at least.
So I’m trying to figure out how to feel rejuvenated enough to once again care about these things for myself, if for no one else. Maybe I have to take myself shopping and buy something cute and new to wear. Maybe I have to go in and have that makeover I’ve been threatening to have at some Mac counter somewhere. Maybe I have to take the lead more proactively in getting together with friends for lunch or a museum visit.
Now that my broken hip is no longer in the forefront of my mind, perhaps it’s time to once again take some pride in how I look. It’s not as though I need to attract a partner, but just maybe the one I have will even notice if I do this right. (He will definitely notice the Nordstrom charges at least.)
If you want to be part of my rejuvenation plan, just let me know! I’m happy to have company.
posted by Barbara at 4:07 PM
7 Comments:
I'm with you, B, after a fashion (so to speak)! For different reasons from yours, these days I could easily slide into laxness about my appearance. Sometimes I almost give myself a fun challenge, to put together a decent combination of clothes, wear something sexy at night, make sure I look and FEEL "put together," etc. It's part of my self-care at a tough interpersonal time. And some people notice and comment, which boosts my confidence, but I don't rely on that. It's for me, and I feel more grounded and powerful for it. SO, power to you! Keep us posted.
(Whoa -- verification word is "dindi"!)
XO,
F.
Anon -- I want to be happy with what I see when I look in the mirror. Maybe that's a first step!
I had to Google "dindi". That would probably be right up your alley.
I think considering all you've been through medically, it makes sense that appearance would take a back seat. Now that you're moving forward it's time to step up to that MAC counter! (Personally, I think you should do all three -- some new clothes, a makeover and more time with friends! Why not?!)
I highly recommend makeovers at Sephora. I had my first recently and they made me feel pretty without pressure to buy loads of product. (Though, I did buy some.)
Have fun with this! I've been buying tons of clothes lately, dressing to fit my changing size and shape. I stopped buying anything without hitting the dressing room and I stopped buying things that I didn't love. I like my wardrobe more now than ever before.
"And no one has noticed."
What makes you think so? Just because people don't raise what could be a touchy subject doesn't mean they don't notice.
I find that a visit to Walgreens and some new makeup does wonders for whatever is going on. When I was super-stressed lately, I did my nails before going to bed and the fact that I couldn't get up and do anything really helped (I know, I'm pathetic). The other day I put on mascara, eye shadow and lipstick (rare occurence) and my sweetie said, "you look nice." I asked, "What do you mean?" He said, "I don't know... just nice." So, you see, they DO notice... (Of course, he lies like a Persian rug for the sake of politeness... so we have to take everything he says with a grain of reality).
Beauty is within. I'm sticking with that story.
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