My Latest Pet Peeve
I’m increasingly bothered by people who carry on side conversations in meetings. As I get older, I am having a harder and harder time listening to the "official" voice and ignoring the others. It’s the same offenders who feel this need to talk while others are talking.
I wonder why these people persist with their side conversations. Is it because they are not interested in what is being discussed? Is it because they want to show that they too are experts? Is it a socializing thing, with little snickers from time to time? Whatever its origin, it is disruptive to the meeting and just plain rude.
We have solved this problem in my weekly meditation group, where during the post-sit discussion the practice is to bow in to speak and bow out when you are finished. At first I thought this was way too formal, but I began to realize the reason for the formality and to enjoy the fact that we always knew who had the floor.
If someone tries to engage me in one of these secondary conversations, I politely nod and look disinterested but I NEVER speak. If I am chairing the meeting, I have no problem with simply saying, "One conversation please," as many times as is necessary to focus the meeting and that always works. However, I haven’t usually been so bold when those who insist on talking are my peers or my superiors.
Do you have any creative ways to deal with these people who would rather talk than listen?
I wonder why these people persist with their side conversations. Is it because they are not interested in what is being discussed? Is it because they want to show that they too are experts? Is it a socializing thing, with little snickers from time to time? Whatever its origin, it is disruptive to the meeting and just plain rude.
We have solved this problem in my weekly meditation group, where during the post-sit discussion the practice is to bow in to speak and bow out when you are finished. At first I thought this was way too formal, but I began to realize the reason for the formality and to enjoy the fact that we always knew who had the floor.
If someone tries to engage me in one of these secondary conversations, I politely nod and look disinterested but I NEVER speak. If I am chairing the meeting, I have no problem with simply saying, "One conversation please," as many times as is necessary to focus the meeting and that always works. However, I haven’t usually been so bold when those who insist on talking are my peers or my superiors.
Do you have any creative ways to deal with these people who would rather talk than listen?
posted by Barbara at 10:20 AM
3 Comments:
It's rude. What would Miss Manners say? Something passive aggressive, I bet. I love Miss Manners.
I just don't know! But I'll keep checking back to the comments. I don't even like side conversations in the office.
You can't just speak up and tell them it is disrupting your concentration?
I'll tell you something amusing in terms of "computer speak." When I was being trained for my volunteer work at AOL: during online classrooms, when questions or responses needed to be made, they forumulated the following. It was standardized fare in meetings, classrooms, or any formal gathering:
? Meant you had a question to pose.
! Meant you had something to add/say
g/a meant "go ahead", you may speak. When you were done, you would also type "g/a" to let the moderator/teacher know you were done.
You were called on in the sequence you typed your queries, and no one ever spoke out of turn. Funny, isn't it? You can't do that in real life.
g/a
Post a Comment
<< Home