Thursday, March 01, 2007

Seeing Another Form of Red

At meditation last night, I checked in as being "full of anger". As Mary invited the bell to begin our sit, she said, "Maybe we can all forget about anger for the next 35 minutes." I almost replied, "Not likely," but instead I chose to say nothing.

The next 35 minutes were the most profound sit I ever experienced. I don't remember counting breaths. I don't remember being distracted by making mental lists as usually happens. I don't remember thinking about what I might have for dinner when I got home.

The single image from my sit was one of a scene where I was near water – on a boat, on a pier, I don't know exactly where. A red buoy repeatedly drifted toward me and I gently shoved it away.

I never wondered when the sit would end. Instead I settled into the most profound state of contentment, where I was in control of my anger and I happily chose to get rid of it!

The final bell announced the end of the sit and I drifted back to reality, somewhat changed and much more content.

I've seen the red buoy a few times today and, although it's only too real, I continue to push it away.


Blogger Kristin said...

What lovely imagery.

2:23 PM  
Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Okay, I think it could mean that you could save your life, at least regain much of it if you take retirement but you are not quite ready. You still see it floating around you but haven't grabbed it.

My take anyway! And I didn't even charge you $100/hour!

2:47 PM  
Blogger Barbara said...

Kristin -- TY.

MOI -- My take on the buoy is that it represents the anger I don't want to embrace. I don't think this one is a lifesaver!

But you can send me a bill anyway...

3:38 PM  
Blogger Reya Mellicker said...

Sounds like your mind actually rested! Yay. Love the metaphor of buoyancy. They can lash out at you all they want. You will bob back up to the surface. Very wonderful post. I'm so glad you're feeling better!

4:48 PM  
Blogger Richard said...

From a stoic point of view, we feel, we are aware of our feelings, we even understand the cause of our feelings, but we are not mastered by them - reason is our master.

"Begin each morning by saying to yourself, I shall meet with the busy-body, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. All these things come from them by reason of their ignorance of what is good and evil. I can neither be injured by any of them, nor can I be angry with them, nor hate them, for we are made for co-operation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth. To act against one another then is contrary to nature; and it is acting against one another to be vexed and to turn away." - Marcus Aurelius,

5:54 PM  
Blogger Pauline said...

I agree, Barbara - I think it was your anger and you were choosing not to embrace it. But perhaps embracing is not as important as recognizing it, since you were so peaceful after your sit. I'm impressed with your ability to meditate and draw such images to yourself.

7:26 PM  
Blogger Barbara said...

Reya -- I hadn't thought about the buoyancy aspect of this. I love that imagery!

Richard -- I'm not sure I could ever live up to the standard described by Marcus Aurelius.

Pauline -- The funny thing is that most of my attempts at a perfect sit fail miserably. It was only when I wasn't trying at all for that that it happened.

9:52 PM  
Blogger Pauline said...

That sounds like a law of nature Barbara :)

6:29 AM  
Blogger Golden Silence said...

Wow, that is awesome. Meditation does wonders.

3:26 PM  
Blogger Mother of Invention said...

Darn! In my mind I envisioned a red and white buoy...must be my frame of mind influence...I so want to rescue people and help them float and be happy!
So does this mean you're not ready to retire or that you're just calmer about accepting the present situation?

3:47 PM  
Anonymous David said...

all i can say is keep meditating! i think the answer will become clear.

4:44 PM  

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