Saturday, November 15, 2008

No Need to Know More

I was somewhat taken by surprise at Shabbat services last night when a man a little older than me asked how he could contact my friend, the _____ (her profession). I wasn’t exactly sure what to say.

I could have just said, “We’re no longer friends” and left it at that. But I knew her number like I know my own, having called it so many times. And he was asking for professional reasons. The status of our friendship didn’t matter in the least to him.

I quickly wrote down her name and number and wished him well.

Part of me wondered how their conversation would go. When he mentioned my name, would she say, “I haven’t seen her in months” or would she just dodge the truth as I had? After all, the status of our friendship didn’t matter in the least to him.

I was just the liaison and she was just the provider of services. The fact that we were once friends didn’t matter in the least.


Blogger Pauline said...

A fellow blogger and I have been having a discussion about what goes on in people's minds, how our perceptions of a given situation often differ greatly. That you were once friends with the person in question wasn't relevant to the man or to his question. To you however, with that ache still there in your heart and mind, the question wasn't just about how to get in touch, it was how to get in touch with your "friend." For you it was an emotionally loaded question. For the man, simply a request for information. I think it speaks well for your emotional control that you could fill his request without speaking to him about your broken friendship but that you could come here and wrestle with it.

8:18 AM  
Blogger Barbara said...

Pauline -- I'm sure this isn't the last time something like this will happen. This is a small town. It may be easier in time.

3:34 PM  
Blogger Kristin said...

The reminders are always there, aren't they? Poking at us when we least expect them.

9:04 AM  
Blogger Barbara said...

Kristin -- "...when we least expect them." So well put.

9:18 AM  

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