Searching for the Perfect Life

I would guess that each of us could name a handful of things we would like to change in our lives. Yesterday as I drove to a doctor’s appointment, I found myself sorting my life into two lists – those things that I’m happy with and those that if given the chance I might want to change.

Fortunately the contented list is the longer of the two. It contains things like:

– The same partner for the past 35 years, a relationship marked by compatibility when it comes to fidelity, morality, money, discipline of dogs and children (we’re both lacking it), and sexual desire (we both still have it).
– Two children who, although they are still finding their way in life, are no longer dependent on us and who seem reasonably happy.
– Enough money to live comfortably and travel a couple of times a year.
– Health insurance that gives me peace of mind when I get sick.
– A religion that comes with an extremely interesting congregation, many of whom are now our friends.
– A comfortable house that is mostly paid for.
– A metabolism that keeps my weight fairly stable.
– A dog who adores me.
– A love of music and many ways to express it.
– Doctors who help me stay healthy.
– Lots of friends.
– and on and on and on.

Now for the list of what I might like that I don’t currently have:

– Good balance and an even gait that would allow me to walk long distances without the fear of falling down or falling behind.
– Real answers as to why my gait is so peculiar.
– A figure that looks more like an adult than a 12-year-old girl.
– Skin that doesn’t keep punishing me for sunbathing with cocoa butter on the Florida beaches as a teenager.
– A healthy attitude toward deep water that would allow me to swim without fear of drowning.
– Flexibility so that I could do yoga better and more easily.
– A bigger family.
– A couple of broken friendships repaired.

I have a certain level of acceptance of these things that may well be permanent. At some point it seems more important to give longing a backseat to gratitude. But we are periodically reminded of our deficiencies. That’s just human nature.