Elderly encounters
Two experiences this week gave me an insight into various scenarios for getting older. They prove that age has very little to do with a person’s path toward “seniority”.
A call went out from Temple Micah to visit a congregant who was in a nursing home not far from where we live. I recognized the name as someone who used to be a bar mitzvah tutor at our previous congregation. She was known as the “old lady” even back when our kids were in religious school there.
We went to visit Shirley, who is in her early 80’s and suffers from many things, including mild dementia. She couldn’t remember the name of the street her house of 30 years sits on. She couldn’t quite recollect where her 4 children were these days. She thanked us for flowers we didn’t bring.
But she was grateful for our visit. She seemed genuinely happy to spend a half hour or so with us. My guess is she will not recognize us when we next pay her a visit.
Today we were invited by a friend’s mother to brunch in her senior living facility in Arlington. In her 90’s Gayle still teaches piano and devours the paper every day. Her eyesight is not as good as it once was, but she hears and is mentally quite keen. She dyes her hair a lovely strawberry blond color and takes great pride in what she wears.
We had a delightful meal in a beautiful dining room. She jokingly chastised her son-in-law for “stealing” her computer and leaving her with a typewriter to record her memoirs. She said her great-grandchildren don’t like to play the piano for her because she is too tough on them. She’s quite a character.
As I head into the “end game” of life, I’m paying attention to how others are faring. I hope I can keep my mind as Gayle has. I hope my body holds out. I hope I will always have loving friends and family around me. But there are no guarantees about how any one of us will age. To a degree it’s just the luck of the draw.
posted by Barbara at 3:10 PM
5 Comments:
I used to worry about what would happen to me as I age. If I can't care for myself, who would? I have no children & all my nieces, nephews, & great nieces & nephews live 1200 miles away from me. Oh well, I guess I can check myself into an assisted living home as good as the next person. Many are lovely places. Hopefully the G-man & I will have quite a number of years ahead of us before we have to consider these things.
Even with good genes I agree with your assessment... it's the luck of the draw.
I worry a little about losing my mind as both of my grandmothers have. I only hope I don't notice.
Years ago I had a dream about this situation, and I told my daughters about it and said this is how they should handle it then. In my dream I was old and frail, and I asked to be given a basket full of food and a blanket. Then I said, please take me to the place by the river and let me sit in the shade of the mighty trees. I will enjoy my last day, and then I will go and die. Don`t worry about me. Just let me go.
I still think this is a good idea.
Lizzy -- We'll just have to hope we're the lucky ones.
Kristin -- Yes, not knowing your mind is going is so important. But better yet to keep it in tact if possible!
Angela -- Neither of these women is even close to packing it in. But I do like your dream of your final time on earth. Seems so serene.
I am given the gift of viewing the aging process every Tuesday evening when I bring a little supper to my folks who are in their '80's. It is truly a gift, because I am getting to know them as they become their most essential person. My mother, who is a highly critical person, is the most critical of herself and my dad and just getting older in general. My dad has become more sunny and less argumentative. Both are engaged in projects and activities. Their passion for each other smolders under the surface of their lives, erupting still in squabbles. I love them both to pieces and I am so glad that I moved to be closer to them.
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