Friday, December 02, 2005

My Blogging Myth Deflated

When I first started my BLOG a year ago, I had decided that it might be a good way to exchange thoughts with some of my closest friends, many of whom don’t live in the DC area – thoughts that go deeper than catching up on what our children are doing or where we like to go out to eat or what movies we have seen lately, the mundane crap that couples often talk about. I wanted to be able to talk about why I see a psychotherapist, something that my husband wants to ignore completely, and oh-my-God definitely not talk to our friends about. I wanted to talk about my personal longings, some of which are unreasonable, but are still there. I wanted to talk about what it is like to have been in a stable relationship for more than half of my life and how sometimes I long for more excitement. So my BLOG idea was one of baring your soul – getting down to those deep feelings that don’t ever see the light of day otherwise.

After I wrote for a couple of months, I gave my BLOG address to a few select friends and suggested that they start their own BLOGs. Unfortunately I didn’t get at all the response that I had hoped for. Several people refused to acknowledge it altogether. A few others said, “That’s nice. Here is what my children are doing...” One said, “I read your BLOG every day, but I could NEVER bring myself to write things so personal.” And yet another, the one who introduced me to blogging and whom I see in a professional relationship, was quite willing for me to read her BLOG, but refused to even read mine. My family totally wrote it off as the ravings of a deranged mom/wife. Those reactions all SUCKED! I could see that my plan was just not going to work.

So while I have been fairly free in giving out my address to trusted friends and I really don’t write anything that outrageous, I don’t have much of an opportunity for the kind of exchange that I had originally hoped for.

I am so intrigued with the fact that this younger generation basically lays it all out there. There is a basic honesty and willingness to tell all that seems to be totally absent in my generation – at least among those I have tried to lure in. So it looks to me like I am just going to have to find a younger audience among those who are already as addicted to this pastime as I am. Nothing like preaching to the already converted.


Blogger Velvet said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:58 PM  
Blogger Velvet said...

Don't be concerned by others lack of interest in your blog, it seems to be a common reaction. I have friends who say, "I haven't read it, I'm too busy, do you write about me?" Ugh.

Then I printed it and highly edited it and sent it to my mom. Then I got the phone call: "VELVET. YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO MEET A MAN AT THE RATE YOU ARE GOING." As if that was the final goal of all this. Can't my mom just be happy that her feminist daughter makes enough money and is happy enough alone to not have to rely on a man?

Those most "important" in my life show zero interest in my blog. Don't feel bad. There are others of us out here who do have an interest in your life, for whatever our voyeuristic reasons!

12:00 AM  
Blogger Asian Mistress said...

Actually I think I blog for the people I've met here, that I actually know read my blog and like it.

I find myself telling some friends who know my blog that they can keep up with my life through it. It's like a virtual email of your daily happenings.

2:28 AM  
Blogger DC Food Blog said...

I'm 33 and that's EXACTLY the responses I got from my friends. I have one friend with a food blog who never blogs but is constantly telling me about the newest vegetarian restaurant or the newest meat substitute. No matter what age, there's definitely a fear of putting yourself out there.

9:20 AM  
Blogger rob parrish said...

Hey there,

I think everybody that makes things is sometimes frustrated by others not connecting with the work. So, hang in there!

As you seem to interested in building community and/or audiance, you may be interested in the growing vlogging community. There aren't many Vloggers in D.C. yet, but I think it will grow. Here is a message I sent out to my friends explaining vlogging.

"Please stop by to check out my new "vlog" (aka,
video blog or video podcast).

Vlogs are essentially blogs that have video content in addition to
text. And like podcasts, you can subscribe to a vlog and have the
videos downloaded to your computer via iTunes or via specialty vlog
aggregators (Check out and

Like most artistic/entertainment vehicles, vlogs are a mixed bag . .
. some have really interesting work and many others are a dead bore.
For me, the most exciting part of the vlogging movement is that it
furthers the democratizing of the video medium. Not only can everybody
make their own videos, but now everybody can have their own TV network.
Moving pictures will not be filtered by corporations, they will be
filtered by you. Yeah, I know . . . like you don't have enough to do

Mefeedia has some interesting tools to search for vlogs. FireAnt comes
with about thirty or so vlogs pre-loaded. Another fun way to find
vlogs, if you've got some time on your hands, is to go to Here you will find a satellite picture of the
world via google earth. On the picture are flags, and each flag
represents a vlog's physical location and contains a link to the vlog.
So, you can trot around the world checking out vlogs.

So, anyway, enough words - go watch some video. Here are several vlogs
I recommend (but please, subscribe to Hopper Video first!) --

Rob Parrish"

3:16 PM  
Anonymous d said...

1. if you want to talk about your therapy sessions with your husband, i'm sure he'll listen. i'm not sure he'll fully understand, but i bet he'll give it a try. he may not really be ignoring it - he may just be ignorant about it. have you tried talking to him about this? do you actually want to share these sessions or aren't they really sort of private?

2. i wonder if your husband will like being referred to as 'my techie, geeky' husband. if you want him to read your blog posts, you might want to consider what you say about him.

3. is there something sort of screwed up if you have to resort to blogs to communicate with him? why not try it the old fashioned way - talking.

2:17 AM  
Blogger Barbara said...

D -- You have given me a lot to think about. Sometimes I resort to a Blog post to unload rather than having a face-to-face discussion. But that never solves the problem. Thanks for the advice.

12:09 PM  

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