Straying from the facts
In the style of Lacochran, I’m going to throw out a situation and ask how you would handle it:
At an informal dinner party last weekend, my husband and I were chatting with a guy who really liked to talk. He was going on and on about his experience living in Heidelberg, Germany, some 20 years ago. He mentioned visiting a church that had been built in 60 A.D. and added that it had replaced the original church from 200 years previous.
I caught my husband’s eye and read “This guy is full of shit.” But neither of us said anything.
We were both mentally going over the fact that it was Paul, born around 70 A.D., who had started “the church” as we know it. Furthermore we both recalled that it was a bunch of Hans or Huns or Goths or some manner of wild pagans that lived in what is now Germany back then, or so we thought. So maybe a few hundred years later, but definitely not 70 A.D. This site would concur.
So how would you react if you were reasonably sure someone had grossly misstated something? Certainly if it was someone you knew well, you would probably engage in a discussion, suggesting why it just couldn’t be. But what if it was someone you had just met? Would you politely say “Uh-huh” and change the subject? Or better yet, find someone else to talk to?
posted by Barbara at 2:15 PM
14 Comments:
I'd probably steer the conversation to an area where I felt more comfortable. Otherwise, I'm sure it would continue to bother me and I can only be polite for so long!
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I usually cough and say 'Bullshit" at the same time.
Or else rub my chin and nod my head and say very earnestly
"You don't say?" then roll my eyes.
I had occasion to do both of these at a Christmas party where I was cornered by an old guy who asked me if I knew what most of the steel the country produced was used for.
"Battleships?" I ventured.
'No...Bottlecaps!" came his reply.
"BULLSHIT!" I coughed.
I usually do exactly what you did -- remain silent. Nod and smile.
But I have been known to challenge a patently absurd statement in a questioning way, like: "Wow, could the church have really been that old? I thought Paul started the church around that time, a long way from Germany." In other words, make it sound like you're questioning your own knowledge, when really you're challenging theirs.
BH -- I'll have to perfect the art of coughing and saying BULLSHIT at the same time!
Steve -- Sometimes it's not worth an argument I figure. But this sort of thing would make me question the validity of anything the person said.
The world provides us so many things to ponder on, doesn't it?
I guess the decision rests on what outcome you want. That is, is it important to correct him? For him, for the people he's talking to, for you? Some people definitely need slapping down. Other people aren't worth the effort of the slap.
And, thanks for the shout out. :)
I don't see why I would care enough to correct the guy in public. Doing so might be an indication of insecurity on my part, needing to be right at the expense of someone else.
Slightly O.T., but as to the life of Paul, I'm no New Testament expert or even a Christian, but wasn't Paul one of Jesus' disciples? Who hung out with Jesus in real time? Wasn't Jesus born in year 1 (which is why the years before that are known as B.C. or Before Christ)? And wasn't Jesus killed at age 33? So how could Paul have hung out with Jesus if Paul wasn't born until 37 years after Jesus died?
Am I missing something here? Did historians discover that Jesus was really born well after 1 A.D. (in which case our measurement of years on the calendar is completely fu%#ed)?
Lacochran -- I'm constantly amazed at the things you find to talk about -- like multiply flushing toilets!
MC -- Paul was not one of the original disciples of Jesus, but rather the PR guy who came along after his death and popularized Christianity. As I recall from my Sunday school days, he was converted on the road to Damascus and after that popularized the new religion, traveling around the area and writing many of the letters that now form books of the New Testament. He was not at all kind to women and seems like kind of a jerk in general, but he did his "job" well!
wow! Interesting to see all the comments.. i'm with Steve on this one, I think! :)
I would move on............my first instinct would be to behave like bulletholes but since I am a "lady" - well pretend to be one - I would just nod and move away.
I never bother to correct people--ever. It's incredibly boring to correct people--so let someone else do it down the line--someone who gets a big kick out of correcting.. Parties are very tricky--one person's rude guy is another person's beloved brother in law who does all sorts of charity work-- you just never know so it never pays to be rude. You were right to shine him on and refrain from correcting a virtual stranger. He sounded VERY boring--it's okay to change the subject, too.
I don't want to be rude to a person who might be nervously talking at a party, so I will just excuse myself to go talk to someone else or go to the loo or outside for fresh air. If they follow me around then I feel I can do what I must to be free of them, like saying "pardon me" and walking away yet again.
I'd like Steve's approach, if I had any investment in the individual AND if the topic mattered. If not, I'd go silent and remove myself from the conversation as soon as I reasonably could, or just let the person go on if I felt they needed to and I cared about that. One of my family members has this affliction in an extreme form, so this comes up for me often!
F.
While I like Bh's approach ALOT, I usually just try to steer the conversation around to something personal. Something the person can be an expert on. ::Laugh:::
In my mind, I think of that saying, "It's better to be silent and thought a fool, then speak up and remove all doubt."
Sometimes, if I am of a wicked frame of mind... and I have some knowledge of the subject, I will ask questions that are in dept and piercing, usually leading the fool down the path until he is completely flumoxed. At that point they run screaming to the bathroom with me right behind them, saying, "no, really, I'm really interested."
...but this is unusual. Usually, I just take in the account that people are pretty nervous to meet new people and sometimes are driven to say things they don't know.
First of all I LOVE the picture you chose to accompany this post. LOL.
In these situations with someone I do not know very well I would tend to simply do as you did although a little passive aggressive quesioning a la Steve might be another option I would feel comfortable pursuing.
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